Oral Fixations
"Cassie", 25
New York, NY
My boyfriend and I have been dating for almost 8 months. He's great, and the sex is amazing! The other day I heard about some oral sex workshops that men and women can take separately. I thought it would be fun for me to go to the fellatio class, and him to go to the oral pleasures class, and then get together to practice what we learned. When I suggested it to him, he flipped! I mean, I've never seen him so angry. I think he over-reacted, and we didn't speak for a whole week over it. We're speaking now, but we never talked about it, so the elephant is still in the room. I just want to know if I'm the one who owes him an apology.
Do you know why 72% of women have faked an orgasm at least once? No, it's not to brush up on their acting lessons, or to be spiteful (since most of them will never admit faking to their partner). The answer is simple: men and their egos. The male ego is a fragile and delicate thing, especially on matters relating to their sexual prowess.
You're probably wondering what this has to do with your situation. Everything. For one, if the sex was so "amazing" why would you need to take a class or suggest one? Secondly, think about if he said, "Baby, you have an amazing body, but I think we should both pay for personal training sessions that target the mid-section, and afterwards we could both get matching tops that show off our six-packs!" Ok, it might not be the greatest analogy, but d'you see where I'm going with this?
We all have insecurities that secretly plague us, no matter how people compliment us on those same attributes. Everyone always tells me what great legs I have, but when I look at them, all I see are the stretch marks. And no matter how many compliments I get, all it takes is for one person to say something like, "Hey, you have great legs! By the way, did you know that Palmer's has this new lotion specifically for stretch marks?" and I'd probably lose it.
Bottom line, tread delicately in matters concerning sex. Some men say they're open to criticism, but it's the horrible double-edged sword that's better left unsheathed (Forgive me if that sounded a little pun-ish...none was intended). Next time you want to spice up your sex life, make sure it's something that: a) won't leave a rash, and, b) you're both into. It'll save you much grief in the long run.
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Labels: Reader's Questions
posted by SimplEnigma @ 11:59 PM
2 comments
2 Comments:
SimplEnigma,
I don't necessarily agree with your POV on this one. In order to maintain the excitement in your relationship, you always have to be willing to try new things and do things out of the ordinary.
I don't think she did anything wrong other than try to add some spice to their relationship. If he can't or won't recognize that, then she's probably better off without him.is he gonna flip out every time she suggests something out of his comfort zone?
He's retarded. It's ridiculous that guys get so bent out of shape when you talk about your sexual needs. We are women. We know how it works and what turns us on. Benefit from our wisdom and creative spirit. I would love for a guy to want to go to a class to please me more than he's already pleasing me. We can all learn new tricks in the sack. He was wrong. She shouldn't apologize, but slap him back into the modern woman's world of multiple orgasms.
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