Can You Smell What's Cookin'?

So I met a boy on Match. At first glance he wasn't really my type physically, but he's funny and we get along so great together. I've literally been walking around with a huge smile on my face for the past couple of months (and it may be a teeensy part of the reason I've been missing. LOL).

We'll call the man that's been making my day Top Chef. No, that's not what he does for a living, but the reason will become apparent as time goes on.

My first date with Top Chef was amazing. I instantly liked him. I can't remember feeling that way about anyone since First Love. I'm not even sure what it was, but I just really connected with him. Before our second date, he'd already met some of my friends. By our second date, I'd met his best friend. Within 2 weeks of knowing each other, we were already planning our summer.

Everyone noticed the change in me. "You're smiling more," said one person. "You're glowing!" observed another. After a month, I was completely into this dude.

One day early in our courtship, we were having a conversation about cooking. "Nah, I don't cook." I joked. "I'm used to dating people who cook for me."

"That's gonna be a problem," he said, laughing. Unfortunately for me, I thought he was joking too. I should have remembered the good old Caribbean adage, "every skin teet' a no laugh" (just because a person's teeth are showing doesn't mean they're laughing).

A Digression: The Cooking Thing
I grew up with my dad and a "helper" (the equivalent of a nanny/housekeeper). No one ever taught me to cook. The helper always did it, and when we stopped having helpers, my dad did it. As a result, I didn't learn to cook until I was living on my own and it became a necessity. I'm a self-taught cook. That said, I'm a fabulous cook. I can't make a lot of things, but the meals I can make, people have called them the best [meal type] they've ever had.

In relationships, I usually date guys who are the chefs. Not because I demand it, but because that's how it turns out. I'm a foodie, so I really wouldn't mind eating out all the time. But when I cook for a dude, it's because I really like him. It's my way of showing him that I want to make the effort to make him happy. And if I'm involved with dude, then I love to make my man happy.

Back to the story...
So I invited Top Chef over for dinner one night. I decided to make my infamous brown stew salmon marinated in butter, tamarind sauce and spices. It was a home run. If our courtship could have gotten any better at that point, it would have.

Alas, Top Chef thought from that point on, dinner was going to be a regular occurrence. And he kept asking, and asking, and making references to me cooking, and making jokes about me not cooking. It got to the point where we couldn't have a conversation without the topic coming up, which is annoying to me on so many levels. I like to do things for people because I want to, not because it's expected of me or because that's my role.

I asked him to chill on the jokes, to no avail. The cute text messages and "Hey baby!" phone calls got fewer and farther between. Our conversations became strained, since we couldn't have one without him mentioning how bothersome my not cooking was. Then one day he let me know that cooking was his dealbreaker.

I was seriously distraught. Our amazing connection ruined over something that would have happened naturally if he'd just allowed it to blossom at its own pace.

To be continued...