Match Made In Heaven? Part I

For my 30th birthday, a friend of mine got me a 3-month subscription to M atch.com. I'm not quite sure how to take this, since I'd asked all my friends to donate to a charity in lieu of buying me a birthday gift.

Maybe she was killing two birds with one stone? Or maybe my previous online dating experiences so thoroughly entertained her that she was willing to pay for more? I dunno, but needless to say I wasn't very thrilled at receiving the gift. However, they say you should never look a gift horse in the mouth, and I didn't want to be ungrateful, so I decided that I'd give it a proper try so her $70+ dollars wouldn't be wasted. Besides, one of my closest friends met her husband through the site, so it can work, if you're open.

I deactivated my 1FootOffTheLedge username (shockingly, I hadn't gotten any emails) and decided to start anew. I completed my profile in great detail, taking care to discuss my likes, dislikes, who I was looking for, etc. I made sure I was specific.

Not surprisingly, the first person who contacted me was crazy. His first email: "Do you date interracially?" Nothing else, just the one question. Aside from the fact that I'd indicated that my racial preference was "open" on my profile, this question annoyed me for a couple of reasons:
1) I'm sure there were at least three interesting things on my profile that a dude could've asked me about to strike up a conversation.
2) It shows that he hasn't bothered to read my profile, which makes me wonder if he can read at all (a suspicion that was further confirmed after reading his profile. It was riddled with misspellings and grammatical errors, and you know how I feel about that)
3) Anyone who is so focused on race from the start is not someone I'm interested in dating. He'll be dating me for all the wrong reasons.

So I responded pleasantly: "I'm not so much interested in race," I wrote, "It's really more important for there to be chemistry. Race is such a non-issue in my life right now."

Email #2: "Ok, cool. I really liked your profile. We should chat and get to know each other better."

Email #3 (20 minutes after Email #2): "We should chat off the site. My email address is _________"

Email #4 (10 minutes after Email #3): "Let's talk. My number is _______"

Now keep in mind that he's sent me THREE emails in the space of a half hour, and since I logged off after responding, I'm only getting email alerts to my cell phone that someone has sent me an email on the site.

The next day, I log on and he's sent me another email...that's FOUR in a 24-hour period, in case you lost count. I realize this dude is crazy and I need to nip it in the bud.

"Dear ______," I wrote, "Thank you so much for the compliments and your interest in me. It's very flattering and I appreciate it very much. After looking at your profile, I don't think we are romantically compatible, but I wish you all the best in your search."

He responds almost immediately, which makes me realize that he's purchased one of those memberships where he's always logged on. That just solidifies his crazy status in my mind. His response: "How can you say we are not romantically compatible when we haven't even spoken? What does that mean?"

I decide to ignore the email and not respond. Ten minutes later, "SE, I need a response. Please explain to me how you can say we are not romantically compatible when you haven't spoken to me. I need an explanation. What kind of games are you playing?"

I immediately logged into the site and utilized the handy "Block" feature. Thank God, I hadn't exchanged any personal information with dude, 'cos he definitely has some issues.

And that was just the first person that contacted me! To think, I have 3 glorious months of this...