The Pursuit of Crappyness: How To Spot A Freeloader
I'm not perfect, but I'm the closest thing to perfect you'll find in NYC. LOL. That was a joke. Seriously though, I hold my friends and erm, prospective interests to very high standards, because I expect them to do the same for me.
Yes, I've dated my share of losers, and had some shady people that I've had to cut out of my life, so this is not a judgement but rather an observation: It amazes me when people are willing to accept less-than-average behavior from their relationships (friendships and romantic liaisons). I mean, seriously, aren't you worth more than that?
I will date a dude who's down on his luck, but I will not date a freeloader. Yes, there are major differences, ambition being one of them. Remember Starving Artist who ran up a $40 tab, didn't pay or offer to split it, then had the nerve--no, the unmitigated gall--to ask me if he could crash at my place for the night. That is a freeloader.
I remember explaining the horrific situation to a friend and she suggested I give him another chance. Erm, what? "Well, you're always complaining that you can't meet any nice guys," she reasoned, "and he seemed like a nice guy aside from the paying part."
I'm sure if you dig deep enough, there are serial killers who are "nice guys", who open (van) doors for ladies, take 'em to their homes (basement, of course) and introduce them to their mothers (a la Norman Bates). However, I'm not that into archaeology...I prefer my niceness on the surface.
Here's another situation: Boy meets girl, they date for a year and become serious. (Let me point out that boy has successful job, nice condo, and makes a crap load of money, because this is important to the story.) Girl suggests that they move in together, and boy agrees. Girl gets to his condo, and doesn't even offer to buy the groceries, even though she is working and was previously paying all her own bills, including a $1200 rent.
Boy foots the bill for girl to live at his place for nearly an entire year...until he loses his job. Perfect time for girl to step up to the plate and take over the bills, right? Naw, girl quits her job 2 weeks later, saying she's "at a point where she needs to find herself." Maybe it's just me, but a recession is not the time to be finding yourself...especially when your man is out of a job. Girl is a freeloader; boy is down on his luck.
Alas, boy will not listen to the voices of reason who've told him that the girl is a freeloader...he's now funding their living with his savings, while girl is "finding herself."
Umm, is it just me?
posted by SimplEnigma @ 7:55 PM
8 comments
8 Comments:
Here's my free loader story...which may turn into a blog post. met a boy, seemed nice, lives across from me, invited him over a few times, he came, ate my ice cream, drank my booze, on christmas eve, invited him over to hang with friends, we were making candy apple martinis, so we ask boy to pick up a cranberry juice...he does....and drinks about 7 martinis at my place, upon leaving he msgs me that he forgot to collect the $4 for the juice....
Sigh.
LMAO. I read this while I was in a meeting and had too excuse myself.
That he drank apple martinis should have been an indication. LOL. I was just telling one of my friends that a man who orders a fruity martini (or most other fruity drinks for that matter) are right up there with men who have cats.
LOL.
oh lord u have got to be kidding me!!! i dont even remember the comment i had for the post im SOO mad at $4 dude! struups!
oh
that girl...she's the heffa thats gonna screw over good buy turning him into a mean ol bastard for everyone else after...struups
From experience women hate spending their own money on anything that they either can't wear or claim sole ownership of.
CP thats what you call a hidden cost! dude probably was planning on that $4 lol. You can't just spring that on a brother
@ SE: A fool and his money are soon parted. Its the way of teh world, y'all tried to help him and he won't listen? Don't be sorry for him. Help him to come to realisation early. Give him some sob story and borrow some money from him, then don't pay him back. If you want to be nice, pay him back when the free loader is gone.
@ CP: Where do you meet these people? OMG!You need to come to Cayman or Jamaica, I can introduce you to so many nice guys. I won't even charge you much! ;^)
I cant entirely agree with u on ur last paragraph Mad Bull. There's a lot of freeloading men here too.
I have been reading your blog for a while and I just had to comment on this one. Talk about total moocher. I know women who are like that though, they want the man to do everything and they do nothing at all. and when its their turn they are all shocked and suprised and have a million and one excuses!!!
at CP.. I would've told homey that the $4 were used up with how many apple martini's he drunk for the night.
men who drink fruity drinks are just as bad as men who go out to dinner and order salad... not a good look
Damn, even on my own dating blog I can't get a date. I hope yawl noticed how Mad Bull sweetly offered to find CP a nice man, but me?!? *crickets*
I think it's much harder for a man to be a freeloader in the Caribbean. Women have way less tolerance to "mind men", and it's really still very much a patriarchal society with traditional gender roles.
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