Sunglasses At Night

I went out the other night; spotted a gorgeous guy who I thought would be a perfect accessory for my arm. But alas, he had an accessory of his own, and when he donned it in the pitch black club, I felt my attraction melt away like butter on a griddle.

Apparently some people didn't get the memo, so let me reiterate: "sunglasses at night" only works as a song. No one, I repeat, no one can pull off sunglasses in a club. Ok, maybe if you're Lenny Kravitz. And I wouldn't recommend dating someone who wears sunglasses to a club. It means they're wack, and wack is the worst thing you could ever be.

Ladies, if you're dating a guy and you find out he's gay, maybe you could work it out. But if he's wack, there's just absolutely no hope. Wack don't crack.

Speaking of wack, I saw an old school rapper the other day. He had one gold tooth in the front of his mouth. I guess no one told him the 80s was two decades ago. And no, it wasn't Slick Rick. This is a note to you trendy 2008 folks: it's cute now, but it won't be in 20 years, so make sure that shit isn't permanent.

Lil Wayne better save his money, because 20 years from now that teardrop is gonna be really wack (actually, if you ask me, it's wack right now, but apparently no one else seems to notice).

And since we're on the topic, I've been running into Slim Shady quite a bit recently, and he's starting to look quite good.

Someone find me a date quick!