Argentine Lake Ducks, Brazilian Boys & Other Random Bits

I'm baaaaaack! What a month it's been! So much has happened.

I was walking past the Museum of Sex today (these are the little joys of NYC that you won't find anywhere else). They're having an exhibit about animals. I found out that the Argentine Lake Duck has a 17-inch, corkscrew penis. All that wasted on a damn duck. But then again, which woman (or man) would sleep with a dude with a 17-inch penis anyway? I suppose it's just as well.

Brazil was AMAZING. The men are hot, but there were a couple sloppy kissers in the bunch. I was really happy to see that love is alive and well in Brazil. No matter where I went, there were couples kissing and holding hands. I love it!! And it was really good for my self-esteem. Every where I went people (both men and women) kept telling me how beautiful I was. Brazil is officially the number 1 place to go to get over a bad breakup (Pepper, I hope you're paying attention).

What I didn't love so much was my first Date Day. I had it before I went away. Essentially, I just scheduled multiple dates in one day: a lunch date and a dinner date. Some people think it's a little crass, but I like to think of it as making the most of my day. Date #1 was 20 lbs heavier than he was in his picture, talked incessantly about himself and was a talented voiceover artist. During our date, he showed me several of the "one hundred voices" he could do, including a couple cartoon characters. No, I'm not making this up. I really liked Date #2. We spent 5 hours together, and it seemed really comfortable. We had so much in common. So of course, Date #1 has been calling me non-stop and Date #2? Never heard from him again. Go figure.

I went on another date the other day. When I got home, I sent dude an email telling him how much fun I'd had and how I'd love to do it again. (Let me just say that this was an indication of my personal growth: his hairline was slightly receding and I couldn't picture myself getting hot and heavy with him, but I went anyway.) He responded with the five worst words one could possibly hear in a dating situation: Let's play it by ear. Ouch. Ok, ok, I suppose there are five words that are worse than that (Sorry, I cheated on you), but can a sista catch a break?

For the past four months, I've been meeting this really hot guy at a monthly party I go to. Each month, we've danced for a little bit, but never managed to exchange numbers. This month, we grinded (I was still in Brazil mode) for a long time, and then he said the magic words: "Are you on Facebook?" I couldn't have been happier! We exchanged Facebook names (not emails, just names) and I promised to add him as a friend. I went home and tried to do it that same night. Alas, he has his privacy settings where he's not searchable, so I couldn't find him and I realized that mine were the same. I did, however, locate him on another site, but that's even more stalkerish than my stalkerish tendencies will allow.

Back to the real world...*sigh*