SE - 1, First Love - 1
First Love: It was really good to see you the other day.
Me: Yeah man...likewise
FL: I dunno, but whenever I see you, I get a fuzzy feeling and my heart starts to beat fast.
Me: Oh, that's just regret.
I think that's OFFICIALLY the best one-liner I've ever delivered. Baahhaaaa. *pops collar* (Let me have my moment, please.)
Fast forward to July 4th Weekend:
I'm out at a club, it's 4 a.m. and I'm outside chattin' up a couple of guys I know. I call a cab, and stick my phone in my back pocket., while kinda flirting with one of them. Seconds later, I pull out my phone to correct the address, and I see First Love's name and a call that's in progress for 58 seconds. I was MORTIFIED.
I have over 100 contacts in my phone, and of ALL the people that it could have accidentally dialed, I'd say First Love was right up there with...actually he was the worse person I could've possibly called at that hour. I spent the rest of the morning in a cold sweat wondering how much of my conversation had been recorded. The last thing I wanted is for him (or any of my exes, for that matter) to hear me chatting up a dude...and worse, I didn't want him to see my number pop up on his phone at that time and think I was trying to dial him on purpose. *sigh*
The next morning, I decided to preempt any discussion by sending him an email:
"So sorry to call you so late in the night; your name was right next to a number I'd just dialed, and my phone accidentally dialed your number. Hope I didn't disturb your household."
His response: "Listened to the voicemail...all I really heard was 'I can't hang like I used to'. No wonder you're still single. Your game is wack."
Ouch. One point for First Love.
But I still don't think that was a better comeback that my regret one-liner. LOL. Besides, I'm not about to marry someone I'm not sure I want to spend the rest of my life with, so guess what?
I win! Hehe.
posted by SimplEnigma @ 11:56 PM
20 comments
20 Comments:
You do win. He's a lame ass and will no doubt be headed for a divorce in the near future. What an idiot! Be thankful it didn't work out with him, he's so unworthy of yo' ass. Your special -- retarded special and the dynamic special.
i am so mad at that one liner!! i love it lol...permission to use it when the time comes?
Your one liner was crazy. 'oh that's just regret...' stellar! We should get u an Oscar!"
dead @ "Oh, that's just regret." HILARITY!! LOVE IT!!! not the wack game! hater! i want him to pull out now. it's only gonna get worse the longer he waits.
Your one liner was better, his was just snarky....
lol ouch...
urs was better tho
you win. and i'm sorry, but i'm going to have to borrow that line and keep it in the vault for future reference.
thanks!
Her one line wasn't all THAT. Dayum, get off her tip.
i'm stealing the one liner as well! mad copy paste!
the score's one - nil to you as far as i'm concerned :)
oh. my. lord.
game?
no wonder you're still single?
could he be more bitter?
Could it be that he'd like to get a little something before he commits?
I think that ex is bullshitting about not being all that "thrilled" about getting married...but it sounds better when a dog wants to get a bone.
@anonymous10:05pm
Nail. Head. Hit.
not only is 1st love bullshitting his thrill levels, SE is also bullshitting herself about him not being thrilled. Shit, if it was my first love I'd prolly be bullshitting myself too.
LOL @ Anonymous 1: Well it's a good thing we're not getting married, cos then you'd be related to him and yawl would be fighting at our family reunion.
@Pink & Quiet Capricorn: Sharing is caring...LOL.
@Ruthibelle: Y'know, I've been saying the same thing for years...but alas, Hollywood is slow to recognize real talent.
Jameil: Yes, we all know he should pull out. This will only end badly...but it's like watching a car crash, you just can't look away...
@Anonymous #2: Hi hater! Hehe. Funny enough, that's just something that First Love would say.
@GC: Don't think he's bitter, he just likes to say shit to piss me off.
@Anonymous #3: First Love is a narcissist, who women absolutely adore. If he wanted to get some before he commits (and even after), there would be tons of women who'd want to give it to him, I assure you. He could be secretly pleased, but he never wants to talk about it, always changes the subject and has told very few people about the engagement. Even some of our mutual friends don't know.
@Anonymous #4: No, no...there's no bullshitting here. I am absolutely THRILLED that he's interested, especially since I am over him. All my exes have come back, and I thought he was different. He's not. LOL. If you ever knew how I pined over that man and questioned what I could've done to make it work. This is a fantastic ego boost because it proves that at least this once, it wasn't me, it WAS him. I feel completely validated, so you're damn right I'm thrilled.
why must it always come down to a win or lose thing? whats with women an the dam record keeping of exs? you say everything is ok but then you try to start a conversation everything is all weird and your clammed up like you have alotta money in your purse and we are out to steal it. JUST LET IT GO
Perhaps a better "zinger" would have been:
"I'm sorry...aren't you getting married? I don't think we should date."
If you're really over him, why do you need to see him?
@Owen: Take a deep breath, Generalizing George. Who doesn't want to win? I think it's a small victory to celebrate considering that was my first heartbreak. Call me petty or immature or both, but please, just let me have my moment. Thanks in advance. LOL.
@Radmila: you and I have a communication problem. I didn't say I need to see him. Way I was raised, when you're visiting someone's 'hood, you call n say you're in town. I called all my friends who live in that city...wasn't just him. It's because I'm over him that I can see him and be completely unaffected. When we'd just parted ways, I couldn't bear the thought of it.
Besides, I have this weird thing where I'm cordial with my past relationships. I don't go out of my way, but it's essential to remain on good terms. Actually, one of my very best guy friends ever is someone I used to date.
I don't think it's a miscommunication...at my age, I don't understand a persons need to put themselves in a situation where it's going to be unnerving, difficult, or digging up feelings that are better left alone.
If you're "over" him, then why bother? Especially when he clearly wants something more than just "friendship" from you...if I'm to understand your description of the flirting he was doing with you.
Why put yourself in that position?
And for the record, I totally think he's bullshitting you on the "not thrilled" thing...since most people manage to avoid marrying people they're not thrilled with.
I agree that it would just seem easier to take advantage of you and the situation if he can successfully convince you that he's not all that committed...but hell, he's getting married...so, unless he cancels that..I'll have to concede that he's full of shit.
Oy vey. We definitely have a communication problem.
There is no "difficult, unnerving" aspect of seeing him. That's usually what "over him" means.
Seeing him is really like seeing anyone else I dated. I assure you it's water under the bridge. As I said, I remain cordial with the people I date. If I'm in their town, they get a shout. If it's their birthday, they get a shout. Maybe that's why a couple still ask me for relationship advice.
It's really not the complicated thing you're making it out to be. I was just happy at my fantastic one-liner. That's it. No unrequited love here.
I'm still celebrating the one-liner...hehe.
It reads like more than that.
I'm sorry, but it does.
And from some of the other comments, I'm not the only one who read it like that.
No matter though, what does the reference to advice to a married couple allude to?
the picture alone had me laughing!
Post a Comment
<< Home