Wanna Be Famous? Release A Sex Tape!

Used to be that people became famous because they actually had a modicum of talent, or did something newsworthy. Nowadays, all you have to do is have your sex tape "accidentally" leaked, and BAM, you're the next big thing. Matter of fact, I hear some quasi-celebrities are now even shopping their sex tapes to the highest bidder. Geez.

I blame Paris. She started this whole I-have-no-talent-so-I-have-to-fall-back-on-my-sexuality trend. No one knew who she was until that tape was made public. I watched that tape, and frankly, I don't think it was sufficient to turn on a lightbulb with the switch already in the on position, much less a normal, red-blooded man. But it sold millions and catapulted this unknown into stardom. Egads.

You may be wondering why I'm bringing this up now. Well, Superbowl 44 got me thinking: Now that Reggie Bush has his ring, he's gonna put a ring on the finger of a woman who's crotch has been seen all throughout the land. Yes, in case you forgot, the future wife of the Superbowl champ also had her own sex tape scandal a few years ago. She's capitalized on it, and so has Ray J (a real shit stain on the underpants of humanity) with that God-awful show.

I'm not hating on Kim (I actually think she's a smart woman with an acute business sense) but if I was a guy, I don't know that I'd want every dude in the locker room to know what my woman's lady parts look like...even if the tape was staged and over-produced. But she's pretty and has an amazing body so I guess that makes up for it.

Alas, this doesn't quite fly in the Caribbean. LOL. Our people are terrible when it comes to scandal. Recently, when a former Caribbean beauty queen's tape was allegedly discovered on her computer and sent throughout the Caribbean community as viral video, it wasn't glitz and glamor and offers pouring in from Hollywood. Nah, dread. My people?! I don't think anyone has seen her since...and even 5 years from now, people will still be talking. And even though many dudes admired her, erm, performance on tape, I couldn't find one who said he'd wife her.

All I could think about when I first heard the scandal was, "Oh God. Her poor parents!"

My father has a saying, "Mad man nuh shame, but 'im parents shame."

Ah, if only it were true in America...