The Fat Boys
My cousin thinks I'm fatist (our own term, not to be confused with fascist), and quite a few friends have counseled me on the error of my superficial ways. So I thought it best to clarify my stance:
1) I've dated big dudes...not muscular big, big like a chicken wing away from being obese big. Big dudes used to be my preference back in the day...then I started working out.
2) Working out changed my whole perspective on dating overweight guys. I HATE doing cardio; I'll go to the gym and lift 300 lbs. if I can do that and stay in shape. But I can't. I LOVE to eat; I'm happiest when I'm chewing. Law of Logic says that with this love/hate combination, I'm destined to be overweight. And that's why I make sacrifices and do things I hate. I feel like if a dude doesn't care enough about himself to keep his body in shape, how the heck can he care about me? And if he's lazy enough to let himself go when he's single, what can I expect if I should ever happen to fall in love with a dude who's borderline? I know: he'll just get fatter and fatter.
3) I think women should have choices. I was talking to a friend of mine the other day, and she told me that I shouldn't write a nice guy off just because he's fat. Agreed, but why does it have to be an either/or situation? Why do I have to choose between a fat, nice guy and an asshole with a nice body? Who says I can't have both the personality and the body, especially if I POSSESS both? Fat assholes seem to have no trouble getting a banging chick with a nice personality...when was the last time you saw a fat chick with a stank personality walking around with a Morris Chestnut lookalike? The same way men don't have to choose, I don't think I should have to choose between personality and looks either.
4) I'm not attracted to fat dudes. But on the other hand, I'm not attracted to muscleheads or extremely built men either. Or to extremely skinny guys with no definition. Yes, looks aren't everything, and personality should take precedence over physical shape...but when was the last time you saw a personality walking down the street and you just had to date it?
Bottom line: when a dude's naked, his belly shouldn't be blocking his penis. End of story.
I'm not choosing; I want the complete package.
posted by SimplEnigma @ 12:36 AM
29 comments
29 Comments:
Ditto on 4.
Shallow, Shallow Shallow!!! And yes, this is coming from an overweight dude. Not all men were created equal , there is also the issue of genes. So there is a God who compensate us "fat dudes" with some amazing personalities. It sounds to me that if there is no sex there is no relationship. Sex is good but nothing beats cuddling and good conversation. If your guy meets in an accident and cant perform anymore will you kick him to the curb....... Love is alot more than the physical.
"...but when was the last time you saw a personality walking down the street and you just had to date it?
Bottom line: when a dude's naked, his belly shouldn't be blocking his penis. End of story."
LOL, ruthless...
To each their own and it's best to stay true to yourself to avoid hurting others/wasting others' time.
I'm a skinny guy, been there, done that, fuck cuddling and good conversation.
"especially if I POSSESS both", lol
I couldn't agree with you more on this. I don't see it as being shallow either. I could expound but don't want to blog in your comment section... so... can I borrow your blog topic? I'll give it back.. promise.
Funny how people who are sooo proud of themselves and their situation always leave anonymous comments. Hysterical even.
Anonymous, you have apparently opted to ignore reasons 1-4 and focus on one sentence. Good for you.
Umm, that genetics thing is 99 percent bullshit and 1 percent legitimate people who suffer from a condition. My family has a predisposition to obesity - that's why I work out often. The "I can't help it." philosophy is a cop out. This has nothing to do with sex; it's about caring enough about yourself to work out and eat properly.
I might be shallow, but I still want the total package. (You probably don't date fat women). Lolm
Oh, blog away Mr. Fiyah...I look forward to reading.
Well, if that's shallow, I guess I am too.
Correction: You're a looks-ist. Da-yum, girl. Why you treat fatties so bad?! Well, I think folks don't know the difference between overweight and obese. There are many folks who are obese, but are called overweight.
10-15 lbs maybe OK depending on your height, but when you are hitting 25, you fat. A little ponch in a man can be sexy. The male hetero body will always seem to have the belly thang. If you like beautiful boys with great personalities, you should really be dating gay men. They'll always be beautiful, but also have a pension for penises. "Is that so wrong?"
Fat dude, don't embarrass your fat ass by commenting on this post. Your opinion is irrelevant. We are judge and jury because we are the one's who have to find your penis through your mush-mush.
i feel the same way, and i don't think it's shallow. you like what you like. i have friends who ONLY look for guys who are over 250 - regardless of their height, lol!
i think it's better to be honest - with yourself, and others. yes, love is more than physical, but its still a big part of it - for me anyway...
Also, we broads are becoming men. The "men are visual" excuse can only work for so long before we realize we like pretty things, too. When men become less superficial, we will also. There is a reason why male anorexia is on the rise. Our whole society needs a spiritual awakening and a cleansing of the looks-ist colon. Until then, boys workout and be a little neurotic about your appearance. It's only fair.
Lol. I know who the 2nd Anonymous is...My cuz is the funniest person I know. Lol. I am NOT a looksist...ok, maybe I am...
Oops!Guess I shoulda read all the comments first.
LMAO. Califgyal's comment makes my whole entry look tame. And she has the nerve to call me a fatist.
A little paunch IS sexy; a penis-hidin gut is not.
lol
the last point is key, a little bit of meat is acceptable, heck every now and then I am on my b game....
Your right you don't fall for personality on the street, but I think if you get to know someone, personality can take over from looks..
It's all about balance sweets.
ladies ladies ladies pleeez control yourselves. ... you the nameless one "go get a life" it is not any of these ladies fault you not getting any. NUFF SAID.
@fiyah: LOL LOL bring it on dude with your dilemma and all that it should be ineresting
I'm not sure that I can add anything new to this but I am a big gurl (I did spell that correctly) magnet.
I would have to say I'm not particularly attacted to larger women but I've had relationships with a few after getting to know them.
Shallow? Yes.
Is it the end of the world? No.
Peace.
OK, Simple Enigma blogged on this so she obviously wanted comments. Why jump all over that 1st anonymous guy just because of his? I also think SE's revelation was shallow. I bet a lot more of you would be up in arms if she said she only dated white men or dudes with good hair or guys who made at least 90K a year, etc. Shallow is shallow.
This is a heavy subject...and this blog is on a roll.hehe...
I agree with anonymous (#1 'shallow, shallow, shallow')...who was saying that who stated that fat guys need love too. But we all know that "sex" and "sexy" mean two different things...whoo weee...
Now I always find that a man must make love to your mind before your body. However, there have been some physically attractive men that have "fat-out-of-shape- minds"....and also, like enchantress said...but when was the last time you saw a personality walking down the street and you just had to date it?...LOL.
I like what Califgyal said ...lol...
I'm suspecious also... I believe anonymous is most likely a a model and a very physically attractive man who is sick of women just wanting him for his body..lol
Is a fat man with money more attactive? Like all them big boi's in videos, who seem to get all the "girls".ie. " If you keep your mind on the money, then your money (fat boi) is in your mind".
Now notice I said girls...lol.
It seems like when a woman really loves a man she'll move mountains..lol...to get him.
Diana Ross':
"There ain't no mountain high enough.
Ain't no valley low enough
Ain't no river wide enough
To keep me from getting to you.
LOL..Singlenigma...lovin your blogs yes.
GRANNY.
Hi Granny...some interesting points there.
LOL @ nothidinganything. I don't mind being called shallow...just don't call me fat. LOL. Seriously though, I think you must be the only non-shallow person left in the world, because as far as I know, we ALL have characteristics that we look for in the people we date and any of those could be deemed as shallow. And agreed, had I said I ONLY date skinny men (which I didn't) that would be shallow...but aparently like Anonymous 1 (yall musbe related) you failed to read my entire post.
I don't only date any one type of men...actually that's not true, I ONLY date men with ambition and a sense of humor...if that makes me shallow, then guilty as charged.
BTW, there will be dudes who prefer (not ONLY date, but prefer, note the distinction) a woman with curly brown hair or a vanilla bean skin tone or big breasts or a fat ass - none of which I have, I might add - and I would never consider them shallow. Granted, I think they don't know what they're missing (hehe *pops collar*) but that's their preference...
It's nice to know that you have absolutely NO criteria when choosing someone to date, because the presence of even 1 criteria could make you appear *gasp* shallow...lol.
lol too funny
Your sarcasm is wasted. And yes, someone who "prefers" a vanilla bean skin tone would be shallow as well as in possible possession of a color complex. Again, "preference" for one thing indicates a "settling" for anything else if that one thing is not obtained.
You be you and I'll be me. If you wish to retain your shallow ways, it is your loss in life. Personally, I prefer to keep an open mind about people in general. In all honesty however, I don't really care what you like. I visit because you occassionally write something mildly entertaining. :)
Lmao. Since you have no preference, I have a prostitute/heroin addict who is DYING to meet you.
Like I said before, I write what most people think but never say. EVERYONE has preferences, whether they choose to admit it or not. Insisting that u have none makes you appear unintelligent...Hmm I think I'll take my chances with being considered shallow.
LOL @ explaining readership.
P.S. The fact that you understood that I was being sarcastic means it wasn't wasted. ;)
People only call something shallow when they don't fit the characteristic that you prefer.
It's laughable to me when men think that women are supposed to deal with men they aren't attracted to, yet his fat ass approached you BECAUSE he was physically attracted to you. Oh the hypocrisy.
There are plenty of women out there who'd love to rub your belly...date one of them. Why the heck would a man even want a woman who isn't attracted to him? Doesn't make sense at all.
LMAO... hilarious.
Hey, i just read this and thought i had to comment. I think i can agree and disagree with both sides of the dispute.
I myself don't particularly find fat men aesthetically pleasing. And under certain peoples views, yes that can appear to be shallow. But you have to be able to sit down and say, i find (a) something i'd look for in a relationship. Whether that is looks, humour, personal achievements, personality.
Now i also have to agree with the anonymous guy(i know thats a little vague) but you get the idea.
Falling in love is different from being in love, to fall in love you have to find the things you can see fist, no one is just going to open up there souls and say there have a look, if you like it, then lets get together. it takes time and affection before someones persoality really shows.
So we have to look for the things we can see first, and yeah, sometimes that is looks.
So a lot of people do end up going for attractive men. i have to admit i do. But its not as though we're saying after 10years of being together and the guy you're with starts piling on the pounds, you're gonna say; wait a second, you don't look like you did. Go away!
At that point you are already in love, you already know the inside and out of the person, so you're not depending on appearance quite so much as you would meeting a stranger for the first time to date
If i'm viewed as shallow being attracted to nice looking guys then fine, i accept my fate. But personally i think it helps start that initial liking of someone, if the guys got the personality of a drainpipe, then fair, he's good in one department and lacking in the other, but thats the same for anyone overweight. Only difference is like so many people have said.
you don't see a great personality walking down the street and say hey, i like them.
We just have to go with what we have first to hand sometimes. Appearance.
hahaha oh gosh, that last line did it for me....Deb b/c of you my neighbours over here hate me even more. I swear they're gonna try to deport me for my LOUD outburst of laughter!
lol
i dont read the post yet i am now dying too...
ok so i had a long ass response typed up but i will do like fiyah and borrow ur post :)
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