Of Mas & Men
It's TWO days after Kadooment (Barbados' mas parade). I see one of my friends come online whom I had just seen in Barbados. We were misbehaving for a little bit together on the Booze Cruise. Her sign in name on IM said something about being single.
"Maybe she's throwing words at someone else," I thought. It was just 3 days ago we had a talk about her boyfriend and how she thinks he might be The One.
"Who you throwing words at?' I ask her via IM.
"Nobody."
"So what's your signin name about?"
Her: "Me and Carnival Grinch break up?"
Me: "What???"
Her: "Yeah girl, he saw some picture of me winin' wid some guy and he get vex. I told him he was behavin' stupid, cos it was just a wine, and he say 'if is so I gonna conduct myself, he don't know if he can be with me'."
Wait, pictures up already?? Have to check that out later...
I don't have any words for my girl's situation. It's one that happens all too often: SO sees boy/girlfriend takin' a wine during carnival, behaves irrationally and relationship ends.
To be honest, this is one of the things I worry about when I think of dating a non-Caribbean man. Will he understand that a wine is just a wine and has no significance beyond the song that one dances with that partner? Will he be upset to see me scantily clad and dancing with men who are equally clothed? Will he say some crazy shit about how I "conduct myself" that will make me wanna buss his head open to the white meat? These are all important and valid questions. But Carnival Grinch is fully Trini, so I guess that doesn't have anything to do with it anymore...
Here's my take on the whole Carnival Couple situation:
1. You can't get upset for every little dance that your SO dances with someone else. It's silly and it's petty.
2. If your SO want to horn you/give you bun/cheat they have plenty of opportunities to do so - carnival or not.
3. Are you going to let a couple days of drunken debauchery (LMAO) ruin a good solid relationship?
4. Where is the trust? The only time this is an issue is when you don't trust your partner.
5. Have any of you couples ever considered just taking a break for the carnival season, then getting back together afterwards? I'm just saying...the rest of us are tired of seeing you bicker all the way through carnival - just end it and revist when the winin' is over.
6. Please don't tell me any bullshit about how I conduct myself, or try to make it seem like I'm lacking etiquette or morals. It's the same way I was "conducting myself" when you met me...and it's the quickest way to a break up.
Bottom line: If he's winin' up on everything in a skirt and completely ignoring you, or if she has her legs on his shoulders and is getting hard juks, then you may have a valid reason to be upset. Unless it's blatant disrespect, just let it be....it's carnival.
"Addicted to the winin'; a woman on a man...I'm a soca junkieeee"
posted by SimplEnigma @ 2:37 PM
14 comments
14 Comments:
Amen sista ...you said it all
talk about changing a girl to your liking/perfect girl.
i dont understand men and them jealousy.
i have this friend a doctor(just turn friend, that is) hes been to all my fashion shows in jamaica, from charity shows to big expensive shows...ive never noticed him until 2006 Caribbean Fashion Week when he stalked me after the show, then finally when i was alone for a few second, he came over and told me, hes been to all the shows to see me....blahh blahh blahh
one day i was having brunch alone, when i saw him, he joined me, and i didnt mind, plus hes not unfortunate looking. we started talking about modeling, how long hes been crushing on me, then he started telling me if i was his girlfriend, i couldnt model in swimsuit or skimpy outfits nor put pictures on my url site because he wouldnt allow it. now this is the same guy who stalked me atleast 5 times a year at fashion shows and party, but if i was to be his girl i would have to pretty much crash my modeling career to please him. needless to say...his chance of a date went straight through the window...not a backside.
now whenever i see him, im first thought is "lord here we go, AGAIN"
hes still trying to chat me up.
SE; im also a soca junkie
Yeah its kind of weird that a Trini would act that way. One would think he of all people would understand. It might just be an ego thing... he may not mind the actual whining, especially if he has nothing to reference it to like images on the net. But the fact that its plastered on the Internet for all to see may bother him. I doh know... maybe dih man was waiting for an excuse to break up with her... hmmmm.
LMAO @ See No Evil...if men would realize how many times dem mouth mek dem lose out they would STFU more often.
Still laughing at "he wasn't unfortunate looking".
Fiyah, y'know I never thought of it like that before? Maybe he really WAS using the pic as an excuse to break up. Hmmm...
Ohh goodness this one made me laugh hard.
I agree with you, case in point sunday was at a club with gorgeous Miami man, and some ting somehow manages to sneak herself behind in, even though his back is touching the bar, i don't notice at first, and then I see this one get her groove on, at first its fine and dandy, enjoy, but after a minute or two, you best be movin on, this is my meat for the night, lol
And you know you have a good one, when he wine up for a sec, and then come over and kiss you up, to show everyone there he knows where his home is...
which is why my new motto is "ignorance is bliss". The less I know the better
polkadots and stripes look good sometimes. i saw the MOST adorable swimsuit w/both. i'm not carribbean but come on. if you're gonna get bent out of shape over a dance you're likely nowhere near the secure man i need you to be.
hey SE .. like we really was beside each other on booze cruise.. caw I see her 'single' status and his pop up .. and i was suprised too. stteeeuuupppssss
CHEESE AND BREAD!!!!!
I'm with Fiyah on this one. I think he wanted an excuse to break up with her. MEN! and he trying to turn it around to make her look bad: pssshh!! I like how she handling it tho!
rock on sister.. play more mas and MEN!!!
ok..
that was supposed to be
'cheese ON bread'
and
'PLENTY more mas and men'
thats what I get for drinking on a thursday night!!!!!
where di arse is the delete button?
Amen to that. So you were winin' it up at crop-over I see. I really haven't been as yet. Quite jealous.
CP: Love that - you know you have a good one when he comes over afterwards to show where home is. I'm with you there, dance with others, but make sure it is obvious that I am the home station
I just want to know who the hottie in the pic? Is that what they look like in Baje.... because I booking my ticket tonite! YUM-O
My ex and I (who's from Trinidad) read your post together. She thinks like you.
And to be honest, I don't know how cool I would be with my girl wining on a man like there is no tomorrow.
Do I get my shallow card?
Peace.
can we say insecure? Laawd god, how man fi know him gyal a go carnival an expect she nah whine off somebody? He should be happy him have a woman that can move she waistline so good next man waan a slice. Nothin more pleasurable than lettin your woman do that knowing who she is going HOME with.
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