Looking for Love #6 and Random Soundbites

So I recently got a "Dear John" email (ahh, the marvels of modern frickin' technology) from a dude that I'd never even met. I swear, I can't make this shit up even if I tried.

Remember the dude that I was emailing from The Onion? Well, we exchanged emails for over a month, then spoke a couple of times on the phone. For some reason, we could never seem to coordinate our schedules to meet up in person, but I was fine with it, because he'd kinda slipped into The Friend Zone (he'd alluded several times to being on the verge of depression because his writing wasn't going the way he wanted, and truthfully, there's only room for one tortured writer in my romantic relationships).

So anyway, I hadn't heard from him in a couple weeks, so I sent him a quick email: "Hey. Haven't heard from you in a while. Hope you haven't finally offed yourself." He responds with some equally witty remark, then suggests that we meet up "soon" and throws out a date. We couldn't coordinate for the date he had in mind, so I suggest one a 5 days later, which we agree on.

I didn't hear from him until the day before our meeting. He sends me an email saying how he doesn't think we should meet up anymore, because he's kinda seeing someone, and he wants to do it right and see where it goes, blah, blah, blah. Hilarious, right? Especially considering that he was the one who suggested the meeting in the first place. So I respond and wish him good luck, and tell him he'd be a good dude to hang out with, blah, blah, blah...

But it doesn't change the fact that I got the "it's not you it's me" from a dude I've never met...and via email. Hehe.

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"I don't need to work out. I'm fantastic in bed." Response I received when I asked a woman about her workout regimen. Absolutely hilarious.

"Get the sex out of the way first, and then you can sit and talk." My friend on dating advice he received from his mother. LOL.

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I've been toying with the idea of introducing future dates/significant others as my lovers. People don't use that word very often any more. Some of my friends don't think it's such a good idea, but I recently went to an event where I brought a friend who was visiting from out of town. Of course EVERYONE at the event kept asking if we were dating or in a relationship. *sigh*

If I'd made it a habit to introduce my S.O.s as my lovers a long time ago, there would have been no confusion. Everyone would've instantly known that he was just my friend. LOL.

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If someone says their sex partner is "unremarkable", does that mean that she or he is bad, or just nothing to write home about?