Help! There's A White Man In My Bed!

Disclaimer: Well, this isn't really a disclaimer; more of a statement. This article isn't meant to explore the whole race issue, or even to address the issues of colorism within the black race. We all know they exist, and prolesthesizing about it doesn't do anyone much good. This is simply my opinion on a "trend" (I hate that word, but I'll use it for lack of a better one) that I've noticed and experience over the last few years. I'm being honest. If it offends anyone, deal with it - sometimes life is offensive. But better yet, ask yourself why you're so worked up over something that's 1) written on a blog, and 2) really not that serious.

A few years ago, it seemed like a really dark-skinned Black woman with very prominent African features (I think they're calling that look "exotic" these days) could barely get a second glance from a black man who wasn't either a Rasta or "afrocentric" (I hate that word too) himself. Let's be real, the Alek Weks and Lois Samuelses of the world admittedly didn't get much play from black men, because they were considered "ugly"...and they're models!!

But that group of Black women - actually, Black women in general - have a whole new fan base these days. Although my routine hasn't changed much, within the last year alone I've been approached by more white (and Asian...LOL) men than I've come in contact with throughout my whole dating career. No joke. Five of my (Black) female friends are currently dating (or in serious relationships) with white men. And although a couple of them aren't ready to come out of the interracial dating closet just yet, they're definitely getting more comfortable as the months go by.

"The difference between Black & White men our age, is that White men date to find that someone, while Black men are still in their conquest phase," my friend Leigh told me the other day. True? I dunno, but 4 of my 5 friends came out of bad/unhealthy relationships with Black guys, so he could have a point.

Personally, I dunno if I'm ready for interracial dating just yet. Actually, lemme rephrase that. I can date a guy of another race, but I don't think I can handle the physical part. Call me weird, but when I undress in front of a Black man, I know he'll expect to see a Black woman's body with curves and the like. With a White man, I dunno if I'd be comfortable, just because somewhere in the back of my mind I'll know that my body isn't what he's used to (unless he's been with Black women before). It may be more of a self-perception problem, than a racial one, but if you're about to have sex with someone, you can't really have stuff like that on your mind.

Reason #2: I don't know if I'd be able to tell whether the guy was interested in me the person, or just trying to fulfil some fantasy of being with an "exotic Black woman". "It shouldn't be about race," Heather said, during one of our conversations on the topic. "If you find each other mutually attractive, none of that should matter." Ah, Heather...but it does to me (and I'm sure many other people)...I just don't think some people are honest enough to admit to those hangups.

Reason #3: It's still a little too George Washington (or is that Thomas Jefferson?) for me.

But who knows, maybe one day I'll be able to take it further than dinner and the museum.

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