Friday, January 26, 2007

What do you mean "NO"?



I know four couples who got engaged over the holidays: one on Christmas Eve, one on Christmas Day, and two on New Year's Eve. I'm really happy for them, and I'm sure they'll all be beautiful, healthy unions.

Maybe it's just because I'm born so close to a holiday, and my birthday always gets cannibalized by Christmas, but I hope my dude doesn't propose to me on a holiday. Not Christmas, not Boxing Day, not New Years, not Valentine's, not Groundhog Day, not Independence Day (US, Jamaican or the country he's from), not Labor Day, not Thanksgiving...shit, not even Boss' Day or some other irrelevant day like that...oh, and throw Trinidad carnival and Cropover in there too. I don't want some dead president, a parade, or a frickin' turkey taking priority over my big news. That's number one.

Secondly, any dude that I'm dating - especially one that I'm serious enough about to be contemplating marriage - should know that I don't like the spotlight. I've noticed a recent trend in dudes tryna go aaaaaallll out for the proposal, doing it at major events and spending hundreds of dollars to "do it right". I guess some chicks like that attention; I'm not one of them. Proposing to me in front of thousands of strangers, will probably get a dude the answer opposite to the one he's anticipating, because it says to me that he's more interested in putting on a show than anything else. As far as I'm concerned, all a dude needs to do is to give pops a courtesy call - not necessarily even ask his permission, more of a heads up - and I'm good to go. That's it.

Now let's talk about dude in the video: you mean to tell me that he had NO idea that she was gonna say no? I wonder if they'd talked about marriage beforehand or if he just got up in his mind to do this without any prior discussion. And why, oh why, would he go through all that planning and circumstance if he wasn't assured a positive answer? Who knows? The chick could've at least said yes to save him the embarassment and then re-nig in private. But that's assuming she doesn't have another man stashed away somewhere. LOL.

How do you feel about public - and holiday - proposals?

Email me your own dating question...or just to say hi!

13 Comments:

At January 26, 2007 11:08 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Her "no" was an embarrassed no. It wasn't about him at all...She didn't like being on display...which is understandable.

As I don't believe in the concept of marriage, I wouldn't have to deal with this scenario, as the mister already knows....SHOULD I get to the point where I acquiesce to the socially "acceptable" display of being committed to this man...it will not be with all the fanfare that many women seem to want. Ask, maybe I'll say yes, we go to the beach, get the priest, say the vows, and done. There will be no fighting over who gets to be bridesmaids, wedding dress, location, etc...

Family and friend notification will be done after the fact. You'll get a phone call, or card, saying, "Hey, I got hitched...can you believe it?!"

ROFL

 
At January 26, 2007 11:47 AM, Blogger SimplEnigma said...

I'm with you on the lack of fanfare. If I had my druthers we'd go to a justice of the peace with a couple witnesses, and have a big bashment afterwards...but with my luck, I'll end up with a dude who wants a big wedding *sigh*.

I feel the same way about big weddings; it's really more for everyone else, IMO, which is why I say a heads up to my dad is all that's required. I watch those Bridezilla shows and I think, "these women are crazy!"

 
At January 26, 2007 2:11 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

my birthday is close to christmas, and i have gotten ripped off my whole life. i am a firm believer that individual events (birthday parties, weddings, christenings, etc.) should not be held on other special days or holidays. i just heard about another couple who chose to get married on new year's eve...365 days in a year, and you pick one of the biggest party dates?!

that girl was definitely embarassed! i'm pretty shy and private, so there is no way i would want a proposal in front of a huge crowd of strangers either! however, i would be okay with it being done in front of a group of my family and close friends.

i'm not opposed to simplenigma's idea of a city hall wedding followed by a good party - i agree that the huge elaborate affairs are for others (usually the parents.)

 
At January 26, 2007 2:38 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh.. no... I watched that video dreading what was about to unfold.. I get embarrassed for other people like that. The idea of being proposed to in public, and/or on a special day is like hell to me.

So guess I've been to hell - an ex once proposed to me on my birthday. You know what it's like when people forget your birthday cos it's so close to Xmas, or give you a combined present? Well imagine - after very little discussion about marriage - having a guy think that your birthday would be a good time to ask you to marry him? Even Plan Your Epitaph Day or International Talk Like A Pirate Day would have been better than that...

 
At January 26, 2007 3:21 PM, Blogger SimplEnigma said...

Quiet Capricorn said:
"i just heard about another couple who chose to get married on new year's eve...365 days in a year, and you pick one of the biggest party dates?!"


I think that's when I'd send a card with a check. Who wants to be at a wedding on New Year's Eve? That's pretty inconsiderate, IMO. But that's just me. I understand the concept of doing it on a day where people have the next day off, but isn't that what Saturdays are for? LOL.

I'm not opposed to a proposal in front of my family and friends either, but I guess I kinda feel like the less people around, the less chances of someone ruining the moment with some stupid comment like, "It's about time!" or "Boy, get down on yuh knee like we used to do!" LOL.

@Ness: My birthday's December 20; I've been getting combined presents all my life. LOL. Proposing on your birthday?! Maybe he was tryna be cheap so he wouldn't have to get you a birthday gift...Or maybe he was being nice, because then you'd always be guaranteed sex on your birthday...LOL.

 
At January 26, 2007 4:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey....i am not a fanfare kinda gal either....for either event...ask me inna nice quiet place and i'll be good to go, and i would rather get married in a simple ceremony on the beach...with just the two witnesses...but mi madda sey ova har dead baddy...lol

 
At January 26, 2007 7:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

listen I am crying at this video. ROFL. Where she running going? Why he do that? LMFAO. I'm sure she was at the game with someone else. poor thing.

I want a simple garden wedding next time around. First time I did the justice of the piece thingy and well I'm divorced. Just my close friends and family and my guy and the pastor. then we have a nice lunch. NOthing over the extravagant. I'll do that on my honeymoon :)

 
At January 26, 2007 9:04 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Damn... that wasn't just a No... now its on tape FOR LIFE. Might even show up on a "most embarrassing moments" show in 2020.

"Proposing to me in front of thousands of strangers, will probably get a dude the answer opposite to the one he's anticipating, because it says to me that he's more interested in putting on a show than anything else. "

Wow, what are your thoughts on weddings? Some would argue its a big show as well.

 
At January 26, 2007 9:05 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dagnabit... You mean I have to start reading commments BEFORE I write now? You already answered it.

 
At January 26, 2007 9:06 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

oh and one more thing... NO guy WANTS a big wedding. LOL

Couldn't I have said this all in the last comment? Yep, but that wouldn't be any fun now would it. LOL

 
At January 28, 2007 2:28 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

They want it on a holiday so that they don't ever forget their anniversary. I was talking to a coworker that decided they started going steady on Valentines Day, so he could remember the day was coming everytime he watched a commercial or stepped into a store.

 
At January 29, 2007 9:58 AM, Blogger SimplEnigma said...

LMAO @ Mr. A...you're right. Now that I think about it, no dude wants a big wedding...I think I'd be ok though if he wanted to do the traditional wedding thing with guests, wedding dress, etc. I wouldn't be ok with him wanting to PLAN it tho. No guy should be thinking about color schemes, napkins and silverware for a wedding. EVER.

@ Des: Y'know I never even imagined that that could be a reason, but it probably is. Some men are notoriously bad with dates, so it makes sense that they'd want to lump it with another date they'll remember...hmmm....that's actually a pretty smart thing to do. LOL.

 
At May 03, 2008 5:19 PM, Blogger IrieDiva said...

SE

I've been going thru ur archives cus...well...it gets pretty boring at work sometimes. i've come to hate commenting on posts from yesteryear, but u not knowing the reason they wud want it on a holiday draw me out! lol a lil slow on this one dont hehehehe

 

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