Shallow Hal (Mr. Wall Street)

A friend of mine told me about a conversation she had with a Wall Street guy and his three friends. Until recently, I worked in finance (brokerage sales and operations to be exact) so I know this type of cat, I really do, and that's probably one of the reasons I haven't diversified my dating portfolio all these years. Anyway, without further ado, here's the story of Mr. Wall Street, courtesy of my friend:

I went out to dinner and drinks with a friend. He is a Wall Street, well-to-do brother who is about 31 years old. In a very a typical female/male conversation we discussed what black men/women want. So here is what a black man looks for according to him and three of his friends. I spoke with few more guys and they all seem to concur with this point of view:

In looking for a serious relationship, they won’t consider women past the age of 27-28 . Women have a biological and a social clock. Women who are single past the age of 28 are rushing towards marriage and always have a motive in a relationship. Instead of just seeing where things go and having fun, they have a more calculated approach to dating because they're under a time crunch.

The men's logic is that they want to date the women they want to marry for at least few years, get engaged, enjoy married life, and then have kids - thus women under the age of 28 are the best for that. Ironically, there is validation to what they are saying, I have heard quite a few women say “my clock is ticking and I want to have kids before 32…etc and they are 30” which is really confirming that notion that women are putting the restrictions.

Next, he's slept with between 80-100 women. He is 31, he begun dating at 14. The numbers increased by double digits in college and on trips out of the country. But what is astonishing is that right now the number is increasing by an average of 1 girl a weekend. He says most of his friends go out on Thursday/Friday night meet someone and by their second date on the next weekend they have rolled around the sheets few times. And at the rate of one woman a weekend this number is going to increase by almost 30-40 women a year.

In addition to automatically excluding women over 28, women with a past of 10 or more of men is not WIFE material.

So lemme get this straight: this dude has dipped his member into 80+ women, some of whom were conquests outside of the country and could have some unmentionable disease and HE won't consider a woman who's had more than 10 partners? Bwaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhaaaaaaa.

1. What makes him think a woman with less than 10 partners would wanna date him? I dunno about the next chick, but I like to be a little more discerning in my partner choices. A dude that has slept with so many women isn't putting his rancid penis anywhere near me, let alone become my husband. Also, it's kinda obvious that dude's criteria is a bit lax...if he's consistently meeting chicks who'll sleep with him on the first date, then maybe he should up his standards a little bit. I'm just saying.

2. This dude has had many women, but knows nothing about them. I was 21 once, and I used to date dudes in their 30's. Y'know why I stopped? 'Cause they were all looking to get married and settle down, when I was just trying to have a good time. Mr. Wall Street is saying that only women under 28 are marriage potential, but who's to say they'll wanna give up their freedom and youth and marry him? On the other hand I have friends who are 31 - 37 who are not ready for children. Matter of fact, one of them was just joking to me the other day that she thinks her biological clock is broken. Bottom line, women are different. Not every chick over 28 wants to be saddled with a kid and a husband, and not every woman 21-26 just wants to date casually.

3. Don't do us any favors. I hate when guys make it seem like they're doing women a favor when they date females over 30. Trust me, what you're not handling someone else is, so don't you worry. I can't think of a friend of mine over 30 who has problems getting dates with good men - but then again they're all drop dead gorgeous with great personalities, so I suppose that helps. LOL. Ironically, I have more trouble getting dates than my 30+ friends, so age apparently has nothing to do with it.

4. On behalf of 28+ women everywhere (and grown men), thank you Mr. Wall Street! You're proof that success and good looks does not a good catch make, and have done us a wonderful service by removing yourself from our dating pool. Please continue to play in the shallow pool with the youngins. Leave us grown folk here in the deep end.

Fixed income securities it is!

(Edit: we talked about numbers and such before in The Hoe: Not Your Average Tool in case anyone wants to check it out)