He Just Won't Take Yes For An Answer
After my turtle entry last week, I was really surprised to get about 3 emails from different women who all wanted to know what they should do about their turtles.
Considering that I've unofficially started my own turtle petting zoo (Dreamy Dread & Mr. Anonymous), I'm probably not qualified to give advice on turning the turtle into a hare...but when has that ever stopped me? LMAO.
So here's the scenario: Girl meets Turtle. They run into each other regularly because they work in the same area. A friendship, then an attraction, develops. Turtle invites Girl out on spiffy date and is the total gentleman. Turtle and Girl speak occasionally, flirt and go out a few times after said date, but Girl feels like she's putting in most of the effort. Few weeks later, Turtle offers to take Girl out to celebrate a big accomplishment in Girl's life. They agree on a date a couple days out. Turtle doesn't call on the day they're supposed to go out - nor does he call in the two days following. Girl asks me what she should do.
The question couldn't have come at a better time. It was the first night of spring, and I'd recently sent out a blast text message to all my friends (and my two turtles) saying "In a couple of minutes, it'll be spring. Whoo-muthaeffin-hoo! Happy Spring!" Truth be told, the message was really for the two turtles, but I wanted to have an "out" so I could say, "I sent it to all my friends!" in the event of a potentially embarassing situation (remember, we haven't figured out if Dreamy Dread has a girlfriend yet). Sure enough, all of the people I sent the message to responded - except the two turtles. *sigh*
Anyway, I told Girl to send the same message to her friends and include the Turtle. (I know it didn't work for me - you don't have to point that out - but I was hoping that someone else would have different results.) Girl sends me another email:
Turtle responded! I sent him back a message:Y'know, Girl's email really made me take another look at this whole Turtle thing. There's a fine balance between letting someone know that you're interested and doing aaaalll the work. And no one should have to do all the work. I understand if a dude is shy and won't initiate, but dammit, at least reciprocate!
"We should celebrate! Oh wait, wasn't there some talk of dinner or something?"
Total deafening silence...
So now I have no where to go...Did I scare him off? Does he not want to go to dinner? I think this is where I have to officially give up...but I don't know if I want to.
Why do guys behave like this? Why is it always the ones we don't want to call who do, and the ones we really want to call who seem to have forgotten how to use a telephone.
I should look on the bright side - at least Mr. Right in Canarsie didn't yell at me for interrupting him and tell me I never listen. :)
I've decided (and this is the same advice I'm giving to Girl) to just let it go. I'm not prodding these turtles anymore. Girl, right now the ball's in his court. You've made it clear that you're open and interested. If he doesn't make a move, it's on him. Just don't sit around thinking about it anymore. It's spring...time to clean out the petting zoo and release those turtles into the wild.
Say something....and hurry up dammit!!
Labels: Dreamy Dread
posted by SimplEnigma @ 11:06 AM
16 comments
16 Comments:
I agree. After one date the shy guys shouldn't be shy anymore.
Y'all there complaining about your turtles when you are turtles yourself.
If you don't want to wear the pants then ditch the turtle or make life interesting and pop that turtle right out of his shell :D
Hey Des!
@Adrian, I think because of traditional gender roles, it's waaay easier (and more acceptable) for a female to be a turtle than a male. Plus, yall are a different species altogether.
When a man makes a move, the woman will reciprocate if she's interested. When a woman makes a move, the man will sit there like a blind, deaf, mute even if he's interested. *stupse*
P.S. Unfortunately, I can't go to your blog until that entry on the lizards is safely down the page. I just saw the title and knew that you'd have a picture of a lizard in there somewhere. I decided not to take the chance.
Tis not a turtle, Tis not interested. I have a turtle I met LAST YEAR, who I haven't met since, who still feels the need to call me every now and then and say ' We should meet up'
Frankly the moments passed....Keep on walking Turtle, I'm looking for a stallion...
Women always make the first move. It's just that they are so smooth at it they make us think we are. So they bat the eye, give a smile, ask us an innocent question, whatever...but nine times out of ten a woman has given us an indication that she's interested first and then we move. Don't make it too easy ladies, we take it the wrong way. As in either she's easy, or she's hard pressed.
@CP: There are times when I think, "hmm, he's just not that into me", but in the case of one of my two turtles (Dreamy Dread could really just be interested in a friendship) I don't think it's lack of interest.
@Say Yeah: How Oscar Wilde-ish of you! ("I have a theory that it is always the women who propose to us, and not we who propose to the women.")
But I think it's one of those things where it's different for each dude. Not all men read signals the same - actually some of them don't even read signals at all. I've had dudes approach me who I haven't the least interest in on some purported chemistry they felt between us. *groan* Or there are times when I've presented to some dude and he won't even notice. We just can't win. *sigh*
I agree - there is so far you can take it and then they have to do some of the work. And that works for both guys and girls - one side does some work but unless there is some reciprecation, then it ain't going to happen.
Keep looking for the stallion!
Happy to report that my turtle is no more!! :) I got annoyed and just stopped calling, texting or even agreeing to see him when he did call. And Mr. Man stepped right up to the plate..
and I am only half interested now anyhows.. :)
ps. check your email chica!
Interesting site!
Anyhoo I got the inside scoop on how Woolmer really died at www.jimscreechy.blogspot.com
interesting...this one has my wheels turning...
Loved this post honey.. the games we play.. hmmm?? I have to agree with Adrian - gals have been turtles for far too long.. I say turn the turtle on his back and give him a good hard long.. PASH!!
LMAO @ "stallion"...Didn't yall ever hear the story of the Tortoise & the Hare (I only used turtle because it much easier to pronounce...LOL).
@Spice: checked and responded m'dear. I think I'm the same way as I've gotten annoyed and will not initiate any more contact.
Dear Kimba: I've prodded my turtle quite a few times. I believe he's dead.
As a male, I have to agree with your final assessment. Once you show interest, he is off the hook for any "fears" he may have. So, being like that just doesn't make it in my book.
Now, ease up on the Mr. Anonymous talk. Folks might confuse me for him. No sir, I'm no turtle.
that was you that sent that text?? i had no clue who it was LMAO
happy spring to you too! lol
I KNOW that I wrote a long-ass comment. Where did it go? Oh, you have comment moderation?
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