Presentation Skills

What I'm about to say will shock the pants off you (that is, assuming that you're wearing any...and if you're not, it's actually a bit disconcerting that you're sitting around reading blog entries without any pants on). It might take a while for you to come to terms with this startling revelation, so make sure you're sitting down for this one: I am painfully shy.

I know, I know...it's difficult to imagine someone as vivacious and witty as I (online) suffering from shyness, but what can I say? I'm a complex individual. LOL.

Funny enough though, in my younger days, I used to just be able to roll up to a guy and ask him out. It seems the older I've gotten, the more I'm unable to do that. It's almost as if I'm living my life in reverse (right now, I'm in the awkward school girl stage).

So you're probably wondering what my (obvious) personality, er, conflicts have to do with dating. Everything, actually. My dating life is often held hostage by a double-edged sword: because I'm so shy, I usually tend to avoid the spotlight and blend in with the wallpaper as much as I can in social settings; so by default, I don't get noticed, and therefore don't get asked out...or if I do get noticed, it's by the dude who's trying to blend into the wallpaper as well, and that's not the kind of guy I'm attracted to at all. If I'm shy, why would I want to date another shy person? (Hmm, maybe it's more of a vicious cycle than a double-edged sword, but since one can't be physically held hostage by a vicious cycle, I'm gonna stick with double-edged sword).

Which brings me to the title of this entry: A few months ago, my friend Heather told me about a flirting technique she'd heard about called "presenting". It's a non-verbal way to let someone of the opposite sex (yes, men can present too - although I get a totally different - and uncomfortable - image when I think of a man presenting) know you're available and open to being approached. Presenting includes things like prolonged eye contact (up to 2 minutes), smiling, glancing their way often, and - if you're in close proximity - touching/brushing up against him/her. Heather thought I'd be a perfect candidate to try "presenting" because of my shyness.

There's just a few teeeeensy problems with this technique:

1. I can't even look at someone I know for 2 minutes, let alone someone I don't know who I think is hot. And if the person isn't looking back, then I'd just be staring, and that's just weird.

2. Maybe it's just me, but when I see women doing those transparent flirting tricks, it's sooooooooo obvious (and cheesy) to me, that I couldn't possibly think of doing them myself. Don't get me wrong, everytime I see it, I'm fascinated; I watch to see if dude is going to fall for that I'm-oh-so-helpless-and-you're-a-big-strong-man-come-rescue-me routine. But then I find myself thinking, "do I want to really date an idiot who would fall for something so obvious and corny?"

3. Assuming that I get over hurdles #1 and #2, and dude actually comes over to engage me in conversation, one of two things will happen: If I'm really feeling him, my wit and personality will both go on vacation and leave me stranded by myself with absolutely nothing to say, OR They'll both decide to work overtime, and I'll go overboard. LOL. (There is no happy medium in my world).

So my struggle to present continues...I have a few subjects in mind to help me hone my presentation skills. I'll let you know how it goes...

How are your presentation skills? OR Email me a question to answer on my blog.