Oh, Just Suck It Already!!

Anonymous, 24
Harlem, NY

I met a woman a few months ago, we got intimate shortly after. Before we got physical, she told me that she didn't give blow jobs, but I figured that was just something all women say to be coy and appear innocent.

It's been 3 months now and we have sex all the time, but she never kisses below my belly button and it's driving me crazy. I've tried to ease her head down or move up when she's kissing me on my stomach, but she always adjusts herself. I tried the "you scratch my back, I scratch yours" tactic, but she just said it was ok if I didn't feel like going down on her.

This girl is really girlfriend material, but I'm gonna keep it real: this could be a deal breaker. How can I get her to change her mind?


In the history of sex, I don't think the "easing down of the head" has ever worked. No seriously. If you can find me one woman who says that's gotten her to give a blow job when she otherwise wouldn't have, I'll pay your next month's rent/mortgage.

Take a deep breath, because what I'm gonna say might shock you. Believe it or not, there are actually women out there who *gasp* don't enjoy snacking on a mouthful of sweaty balls. I know, I know...it's hard to imagine a woman not wanting to stuff your penis into her mouth, but let's say, for argument's sake, that such a woman actually exists, you won't "get her to change her mind" unless she wants to. Laying a guilt trip won't work either. I can't speak for all women, but I pretty much feel the same way your girl feels about the whole thing: if you're gonna do it, go ahead; but don't expect a gold star or reciprocation just because you did. (Actually, I think one of the quickest ways to get a woman not to perform oral sex is to whine or pull the "I-did-it-for-you" card.)

So this is the dealbreaker, huh? I guess we all have things that are important to us in a prospective partner (for me its things like no criminal record, being disease free, having ambition, honesty, faithfulness, etc.), and if this is one of yours then you shouldn't settle. However, personally I can't understand someone passing up an otherwise good relationship because of lack of oral sex...but then again, I'm don't have a penis, so maybe it's different for guys...Good luck!

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