Should You Help Your Friends Cheat?

Chris, 34
New York, NY

My buddy is in a relationship for a little while, and his girlfriend is a bitch! I'm sorry, but it's true. She cheated on him once when they were just starting to go out and he took her back. But she's made him pay for her infidelity every day they've been together. She's constantly accusing HIM of cheating (even though he's been the faithful one) and calling him every 10 minutes when he's out with the guys. He's fed up of her games and obsessiveness, and his philosophy now is that if she thinks he's cheating, he might as well go ahead with it.

A couple months ago we went out to the bars, and he met a really nice woman. She's grounded, she's an assistant VP at a great company, has her own place and is the exact opposite of Obsessive Girlfriend. They've gone out on a few dates, and seem to really like each other. I've invited them over to my place for drinks and even gone double-dating with them a couple of times. Last week I had to travel for business, and I let him stay at my place (Obsessive Girlfriend has keys to his) so he could spend quality time with New Girl. Is there anything wrong with that? I'm just looking out for my best friend.

It's always funny when people use bullshit reasons to justify cheating. So she cheated; so she's a bitch; fact is, she doesn't deserve to be cheated on. And you certainly shouldn't be helping your buddy to mislead two women (I'm assuming that New Girl doesn't know about the girlfriend...she didn't get to be an AVP by being an idiot, so I'm gonna give her the benefit of the doubt).

Let me put it this way: say you met a gorgeous woman and you start dating her. Let's say you really start liking this girl and she invites you out on a double date with her best friend and the friend's significant other. After dinner you discover that the best friend's significant other isn't the dude you're on the double date with, but is home oblivious to the whole sordid mess. Would you still feel the same way about the chick, knowing that she's condoning her friend's cheating.

If I was dating a dude who was facilitating his friend's cheating, I'd be out the door as soon as I knew, because I'd really question his morals. If he can help his friend cheat, he can cheat as well. You should be talking to you friend and helping him realize the errors of his ways, rather than helping him prolong them. I can't believe you actually feel like you can justify this behavior! Classic.