Friends With Benefits
Ah yes, the ol' "friends with benefits" discussion again. We never seem to tire of talking about. I wonder who thought of this concept anyway? I think he should have his eyeballs gouged out with a dull butter knife (let's be real, evolution and human nature alone suggests that this concept was developed by a man). The friends with benefits relationship has had the most flawed executions of a concept in history of the 21st century...ok, maybe second after Operation Iraqi Freedom.
I still have not found one couple who have managed to make it through the Friends With Benefits stage and are either:
a) happily married,
b) about to be married,
c) in a solid relationship that will eventually lead to a) or b), or at the very least
d) no longer together but are still really good friends with no hard feelings on either side
And I'm not talking about the booty call where you occasionally share some profound shit about yourself after a really good session, or the friend that you fooled around with a couple of times before you both realized that you made better friends (we all know that benefits take a while to kick in anyway).
The Rational Point Of View: It's really an oxymoron. If you're one of those people who believe that your significant other should be your friend first, then the only thing that makes the S.O. relationship different from a friendship is sex. Think about it: if you share your intimate secrets, hopes and dreams with your closest friends and your S.O. then the physical intimacy is the missing link.
The Human Nature Point Of View: As human beings, we always want more. The nature of a FWB liaison always leaves someone wanting more. Whether it's more commitment, more definition, more of the friendship stuff, or more of the sex stuff, the fact is someone will always end up getting hurt. Maybe not devastated-heartbroken-can't-eat-for-days hurt, but it won't end well. I wish there was someone who could prove me wrong, but I haven't found them yet.
The Moral: Keep your friends and your sex life separate, unless you're interested in pursuing a relationship or you don't really want that person as your friend anymore.
posted by SimplEnigma @ 11:56 PM
1 comments
1 Comments:
I hate that term FWB. Not to say it doesn't happen, but it just sounds so cheap. It's like screwing with no obligation or sense of responsibility. I have just come back from having a holiday romance in Oz. Once we realized we were not going to be breaking the glass together, our affair didn't change too much. For one, I knew I had to return back home to my life in LA, but I was open to the possibility of falling in love and changing zip codes. So, what are we now that I'm home? Well, we're special friends. If I'm not seeing anyone and he's not seeing anyone when he comes to visit me, we'll surely get it on. He was a fantastic lover. We will always be special friends until we find someone better suited for a full on love and life relationship. Even when we do, we'll always be friends, but no longer schtooping each other. Soooo, all this to say that I guess FWB's are just layovers until the real thing comes along. If you really fancy them, you'd want to make them your boyfriend or girlfriend, don't ya think?
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