Skeletons In The Cabinet?

G, New York

You seem like you have your head on straight so I want to get a woman's perspective on a couple of issues I have with a new lady I'm dealing with. I'm used to being with natural women, but for the first time in my life I'm with a woman who has a weave. When I met her, I didn't know it wasn't her hair (I probably wouldn't have stepped to her if I knew) and didn't find out until one day we were messing around and she told me. To be honest, my whole vibe changed and I feel uncomfortable getting physical with her now. I like to feel hair and grab it, but a brotha don't want to feel tracks under his fingers. How should I deal with that.

Second thing. She's been coming over to my place, but I went to her house the other day for the first time. I looked in her medicine cabinet when I was in the bathroom and she has a whole bunch of prescription bottles with pills and ointments all in her name! Should I ask what she uses them for?


Hmmm, so that's why that dude never called me back after he came to my apartment! I can't lie, I have a whole bunch of prescription ointments in my cosmetics basket at home - and they're in plain view. LMAO. The ointments are things that various dermatologists prescribed for my sebhorreic dermatitis that I never used. But I always kept them in the event I had to show another dermatologist what was prescribed before. I really never thought that a date would potentially think that I have some contagious fungus (see that's why I don't invite dudes I don't know well to my apartment). Thanks for the new perspective....maybe I'll keep 'em in a drawer from now on. Hehe. Ok back to your problem:

Shame on you for snooping! See, if you'da been minding your own business, you wouldn't have seen all of that. Ignorance is bliss m'dear. But now that you've seen it, what to do?

1. If you ask chick what they're for, you'd have to admit that you were snooping, and that's not a good look for a dude. It's a little Desperate Housewives-ish.

2. But if they're like anti-pyschotics or HIV/AIDS meds, it's also not a good look for you to be murdered in your sleep when she has an episode, or contract a deadly disease (although chances are if she's been spending the night, you two have been doing a lot more than playing monopoly).

I say man up and ask. Worse case scenario is that she decides she doesn't want to deal with a dude who's snooping in her cabinet.

Now about your weave problem: I haven't a clue what to tell you. Back in the day when I was a weave-wearer (I'm Jamaican, it's in our blood), I wasn't sexually active. But I've often wondered how I'd deal with it. I can see where you're coming from, because I dunno if I'd want a dude to touch my head full of tracks. I feel like it would kinda ruin the magic and the fantasy - kinda like wearing a head scarf during sex, or stopping a session to take a dump. But that's just me. I can't even ask any of my friends because none of them wear weaves...Damn, I just realized that none of my close friends wear weaves...interesting. Maybe I should diversify. Hehe.

But at the same time, it is kinda shallow to let that affect how you feel about the chick. After all she "is not her hair" (literally, in this case...LOL...sometimes I just crack myself up) and I'm sure that wasn't what attracted you to her in the first place - at least I hope not. I say get over it, enjoy her for her great personality, and if you must grab onto something when you're being intimate, use her breasts.

What say you, O Learned Reader?