I'm In Love With A Stripper

Alana, 23

A girlfriend of mine had a birthday party and hired a couple male strippers to come to her apartment. I ended up hitting it off with one of them, and we've been dating for a couple of months. At first, I was uncomfortable with the idea, but it's not like it's his full time job or anything, he just does it to make a little extra money on weekends, so I figure he could stop whenever he wanted to.

But I've fallen for this guy. Aside from the fact that his body is amazing, and the sex is even better, we get along well together. He said he broke up with his ex because she couldn't handle him stripping, and at the time I was ok with it. But I went to see him at a club one night, and I got so jealous I had to leave. Now every time he goes out on a job, I feel really insecure that all these women are going crazy over him. Do you think that this could be a long-term relationship?


Whenever I see the dudes at the train station handing out the flyers for their male reviews, I've always wondered about the type of woman that strippers have as girlfriends. It takes a special type of woman to be ok with that lifestyle - even if it's just a "side job". She has to be uber-secure, trusting, and cool with her man being groped by random strangers all the time. And then I usually feel bad for those strippers, because it must be hard to meet relationship-type women. I mean, let's keep it real, most women just assume that because they're strippers they're manwhores, so if they're really trying to holla at a woman seriously, it must be pretty hard.

Personally, I've never been wowed by strippers - they just don't do it for me...as a matter of fact, I've never actually been to a strip show - er, excuse me - male review, but from the footage I've seen, I actually find some of it disgusting. I've seen strippers put their faces in (unknown) women's crotches; allow women to stroke their penises; and basically do anything to get that tip. I couldn't be ok with my man coming home and kissing me, knowing there's the possibility that his face was just somewhere else, buuuut, that's just me...

Then there's the gay angle. Believe it or not, many of the male strippers that work in gay clubs are "straight" men; they work there because the pay is three times better. But a dude that's ok with another dude sticking money down his briefs - even if it's three times more than what a woman would contribute, just doesn't sit well with me. There are some things that simply aren't worth the money. Buuuut, again, that's just me. LOL.

So you're really feelin' this dude, huh? Well, let me state the obvious and just get it out of the way: when you met him he was a stripper, so don't expect him to up and change now. (We women do that a lot though - even when a dude tells us up front what he's about and we know it's not for us, we still get involved thinking we'll be the one to make him change....it almost never works....LOL). Anyway, it appears that he plans to be a stripper for a significant period of time, since he didn't think his last relationship was worth giving it up for. Maybe you're the girl of his dreams, but if you're not, chances are he won't give it up for you either.

I could be wrong, but I can almost predict where this is going: you'll get more paranoid and insecure as the weeks/months go by, and probably start nagging him and become jealous and insecure - y'know kinda like his ex. He'll get annoyed and want to bail, because he doesn't want the aggravation. But communication is key, so I still think you should tell him how you feel...

Can this be a long-term relationship? I really only see it working on one condition - that dude is stripping for a finite period of time, or to meet a goal. If he's trying to earn extra money to buy a house, start a business, or some other specific goal - then there's an end in sight. But if he's just doing this for the love of it, or because he has the body to do it, then you might have to move on - no matter how well he treats you. It's time to bare your feelings (pun intended) and see where his head (no pun intended) is...

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