Are All The Good Guys Taken?

I used to have this theory back in the day that if a good looking, ambitious and otherwise (outwardly) normal person was single, there was something major wrong with them. My friend Heather and I used to play this game I like to call “The Skeleton In The Closet”. She’d name throw out the name of a single person we knew who had all the makings of a good catch, and I’d name the reason why I thought they weren’t.

Miss So-And-So was educated, employed, had her own place, funny, outgoing, and gorgeous – but she was too clingy and that chased guys away. Mr. So-And-So was handsome, had no kids, good job, treated his mother well – but he would bed anything female on two feet in a heartbeat.

Yes, I too used to think that most of the good men were taken – or gay. But there’s good news…I just saved a bunch of money on my car insurance by switching to Geico. No, that’s not it – I just wanted to see if you were paying attention. The good news is that I think that’s all a farce, the more I evaluate it. As a matter of fact, now that I’m older and wiser, I think that only about 40% of the “good men” are taken. Which means that at any given time, there’s about 50% of good men out there just ready and available for the taking (excluding the 10% gay ratio).

Assuming that I have any single women readers left after my last statement (LOL), I didn’t just miraculously happen upon this number. After talking to male and female friends and taking a mental note of their experiences, I’ve realized that a lot of the taken men aren’t so good after all. Consider the following scenarios:

1. A friend of mine is being courted by a dude. He tells her he loves her; he can’t stop thinking about her – and even spent the night at her place a couple of times. He says she’s really the one for him, and all she has to do is say the word and he’ll leave his current relationship for her. Problem is, dude is getting married in less than a month! I’m sure his fiancée thinks he’s a good catch – as do many of the women who see his outward appearance.

2. I recently ran into a guy I used to date back in the day. I really had the hots for the dude. I think if he’d made me an offer back then, I wouldn’t have refused, if you get my drift. Found out he was a family man now – married with kids, the whole nine yards. Yet this “good” taken man still propositioned me, which I’m sure had I accepted would’ve led to him being unfaithful. I’m sure his wife thinks he’s a good man. As a matter of fact, before the proposition, I used to think of him as a good taken guy myself.

3. Dude I know has been married for 5 years. On the outside, he and his wife are the perfect couple – beautiful kids, he appears to be the doting father and husband – the kinda couple you’d see on the cover of a family magazine. Yet he admits to cheating on his wife all the time and says his extramarital affairs have nothing to do with his love for her.

I’m sure we all have scenarios in our own circle where we know men who appear to be “good” on the surface, but when you dig beneath, they’re just as grimy as some of the “players” out there. This guy I used to date started calling me the day he got back from his honeymoon to “hang out” (without his wife, of course). To be honest, I was so disgusted; I felt like I should’ve bought his wife a gift to thank her for taking his sorry ass off the market.

I hope I don’t sound bitter, because (believe it or not) I really am very optimistic that my chances of finding a “good” single guy when I’m ready are very high – almost astronomical even.

But to you naysayers who are always complaining that the good men are all taken, don’t be so quick to write off all the single men that are out there like I used to do. They’re not all dogs, scared of commitment or some other varied excuse that we women use to justify our belief that we’re outnumbered. Not every single person has a skeleton in their closet – some may be looking for the same things you are!

Remember, things aren’t always what they seem. Just because a man may have the outwardly appearance of being the epitome of a great catch to you, to someone else, he might just be the opposite.

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