Nasty Women & The Men Who Date Them

Anonymous
(Age and location withheld)

My girlfriend of three months recently moved in with me. its been less than a month and already I want her gone. I need some advice. She lived with a male roommate when I met her. Their apartment was always dirty - but I just thought that it was her roommate who didn't want to clean. you know how guys are.

I would go there and have to wear slippers in the tub because it was so dirty. She would complain and say she's not cleaning it, because it's his turn to clean. There was always dishes in the sink and shit all around the apartment mostly his because she gives her laundry out. It got to the point where I didn't even want to chill at her place anymore. We were spending more time at my apartment, so I asked her to move in with me. At first she didn't want to because she thought she would be giving up her independence and my place was further away from her job. But I convinced her that since she was always there and her apartment was so filthy it would make more sense.

I can tell you exactly how long it's been since she moved in because that's exactly how long I've been picking up and cleaning up behind her. I'm no neat freak, but there are some habits she has that I don't think any woman should have like stepping out of her underwear and leaving it on the bathroom floor, or using paper plates because she doesn't want to wash the dishes, or storing dirty plates in the fridge "so we won't get roaches", or coming home from work and getting right into the bed.

She hasn't cleaned once since she moved in, and now I'm sorry I asked her to. The other day we went by her old place to pick up mail and although it's not spotless, it's a lot better than when she lived there. I think I got played. Would it be wrong for me to ask her to move out or should I just give her subtle hints about cleaning? One of my (female) friends thinks that I'm just uptight because I have to get used to sharing my space with someone else.


Bwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhaaaaaaaaaa. That was funny. I'm sorry for laughing - actually no I'm not, and it's really insincere of me to say that I am, because I think you brought it upon yourself. Y'all know how I feel about just up and moving in with somebody that you've only known for a short time, and this situation just confirms why I feel the way I do.

Aside from that, a lot of men will ignore blatantly negative things about a woman because she's pretty or possesses some other superficial attribute. I've seen it happen with many men I know. That's all fine and dandy if you're just dating the girl, but when you think about settling down that's a whole different ballgame. It might not seem like such a big deal, but wait 'til a nasty woman has your kid and your baby catches something from a bottle that has fungus growing in it's crevices, or has to go to the hospital for a UTI because her mother doesn't know how to clean her properly. Not so trivial now, is it? But back to the matter at hand.

Sometimes I can be a bit of a fanatic when it comes to cleaning (really it's only the kitchen and the bathroom), so I can see where you're coming from. Although I was raised by my father, there are some things that should be intrinsic values of womanhood - like washing your underwear when you take it off, and others that are simply common sense - like cleaning the tub, changing your sheets regularly and sweeping the floor if your feet are black when you walk on it. Common sense says that dirt doesn't just disappear or clean itself. But unfortunately, not all of us are born with common sense. And unless you put a broom in her hand while she's sleeping so she'll wake up and think that she was actually cleaning, there's no way to give someone a subtle hint about cleaning.

I agree that you don't want to make her feel like the apartment is your space and she's just visiting, but you shouldn't have to feel uncomfortable either. Either create a schedule to clean (which, in my humble opinion, NO woman should need a schedule to clean), or if there are certain things that you know she has a problem with specifically, offer to do those if she'll do other chores. And y'all need to be on the same page as to what's "clean". My definition of clean varies depending on the room of the house. Yours and hers might be different.

And for cripe's sake, be a little more discerning. Don't just up and ask someone to move into your house without knowing enough about them. I'm sure your girl is a very nice person and probably has a charming personality, but the way how she handled her roommate situation (even if it was his turn to clean) was a red flag. The fact that you had to wear slippers in a bathtub that SHE also uses was another red flag. The fact that you had to stop spending time over there because of the condition of the apartment was another red flag. Good God, man, how many do you need?!

I'm not saying a woman's ONLY role in a relationship is to maintain the house and make sure it's clean, but when you get to the move in stage it should mean that you're thinking long term. And if she can't maintain common levels of cleanliness when it's just you two, what'll happen when there's a bunch of kids running around as well? Look beyond the pretty face and superficial stuff sometimes.

P.S. Don't sleep on the plate-in-the-fridge trick...I've done it many a time when I'm tired (I don't go to bed with dirty dishes in my sink). The trick, though, is to remember to wash the plate the next day and not keep adding more to it. At least she was thinking about the roaches. LMAO.

Keep me posted, Mr. Clean

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