The Relationship Fluffer
1. a hired member of the crew of a pornographic movie whose role on the set is to sexually arouse the male participants prior to the filming of scenes requiring erections.
2. Presumably, the name arose, at least in part, as a mocking reference to the hair-fluffing make-up artists who kept the starlets in non-pornographic movies looking their very best in every scene.
3. In a comedy club setting, a fluffer can refer to a comedian whose task it is to engage the audience prior to the arrival of the main attraction.
Two of the dudes I've seriously dated in the past got married to the next girl they dated. Another couple of guys have gone back to their past long term relationships (with one ending in marriage) after dating me. (One even wanted me to be in his wedding!) At first I used to take these "defeats" very hard (I mean who wants to be the chick who sends dudes to commit to other people?), but now I've accepted that I am The Relationship Fluffer. Yes, my friends, I prepare men for the "main event" (that is marriage and commitment, not sex...I have to be specific because some people just don't get my analogies).
It might sound like I don't have a very high opinion of myself using such a term, but au contraire! We all have a calling in life, and this is one of mine...maybe I was a marriage counselor in a former life, I dunno. I'm sure right now, there's another Relationship Fluffer preparing my future love for me. (It's the circle of life! LOL). One of my ex-flames who's now married was good enough to break it down for me:
"You give good, objective advice," he said. "No matter if you're involved in the situation, I can always count on you to give it to me straight. When I was with you, you told me about the mistakes I'd made with the ex and made me see her side. I appreciated that, and that's why I can still call you to get your feedback on something. In the time we dated, you never let our involvement prevent you from telling me about women and about what I'd done wrong in the past."
LOL. He's right. I'm always giving some dude advice on how to see "her side"...call it self-sabotage, if you will. But if my advice can help reunite a guy I'm dating with his ex (or help him do things right with the next girl he meets), then he wasn't the right dude for ME in the first place. I like to think of it as my way of giving back. LMAO. I love my life! :)
Community service benefits everyone...fluff away!
I know you're just itching to say something, so go ahead....
Or email me a question to answer on my blog.
Labels: Simply SE
posted by SimplEnigma @ 12:33 AM
4 comments
4 Comments:
good post. I feel that I am the relationship fluffer as well.
Awww... I remember you telling me that you thought you were a relationship fluffer. On one hand, you do give great advice to men as far as how to deal with an ex. On the other, if you're feeling the guy--a lot, then maybe some things are better off not said. Unfortunately, we men tend to fumble and bumble when it comes to taking care of business in the 1st place. That's when it seems you tend to let your conscious get the best of you and do what's right... you tell us dimwits what we should do to fix the situation.
Still, your a baby... your time to sync up with your mate has yet to come. I predict that your thirties will be your defining decade. Hope ur not alarmed by this analogy but you remind me of the great quaterback that just can't get over the hump to win his first ring. Always seems to have great players on his team but just can't win with them. But just when he least expects it, the front office (fate) puts a 'fly under the radar' team together, he continues to just play for the love of the game, they sneak up on their opponents(your luck)and has the dream season and pulls of an amazing win in the Superbowl and go down and one of the best teams of all time. The thirties my dear, the thirties. In the meantime, fluff away. We gotta know our roles in this world, nah mean... lol ;-)
LMAO...you and your football analogies.
You make me sound so pathetic tho...LOL. Like the kid who watches his big brother playing basketball, and the mom is like, "No Timmy for now you'll just have to watch Johnny play...one day when you're older, you'll get to play."
LOL. I see what you're saying though.
if this relationship ends i'll accept this fate for myself too
but i hope i wont have to wait till i'm 30! :(
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