Shh...Don't Say Nuthin' (Pt. 2)

Shut up?
Originally uploaded by Stitch.

This will make more sense if u read Pt. 1 first. (COE & Beauty: Sorry in advance for the picture...LOL).

Ladies, the men have responded - and they were hilarious. Pay attention, you could learn a thing or two...

The Question: What is the wackest thing a girl ever said to you during sex or in foreplay? So wack that it turned you off, or [almost] made you wanna leave?

The Answers:

"Oh, [insert wrong name here]!" Eleven men said this was the wackest thing a woman ever said to them in bed. According to one of the dudes, "Why yall feel the need to call out a name, anyway? If you're messin' with so many dudes that you can't keep the names straight, just keep your mouth shut!" Another guy said, "I'm not offended by silence. Just keep movin your hips, so I know you're alive."

"Is it in yet?" (2 men). I'm not quite sure what to make of this. What kind of women are these that don't know if something is in their body? Way to make a man feel like a man! That's straight up wack! Like Take-Me-To-Your-Leader Dude, these chicks shouldn't be allowed to participate in sex.

"Talk Jamaican [or other nationality]!" (3 guys) In the words of one of the contributors for this wack line: "If you want to hear a guy 'talk Bajan', go buy a Lil Rick CD."

"It's in the wrong hole." Wait, did this chick not feel it going down the wrong path?! She just sat there calmly and didn't say a word until it was in? Dudes have to be prepared to handle that shit (pardon the pun)...it's not something you spring on a guy after the fact. Says the unfortunate contributor of this wack line, "The minute I heard that, my boy deflated like a balloon."

"I wanna have your baby." (7 men) Like some of us, the last thing a dude wants to think about is babies in the middle of a session. The only time this is appropriate is if the dude is your husband and yall are actively trying to have a kid. Avoid all mention of phrases that can even remotely be linked to children.

"Can I be your girlfriend?" Sometimes sex is just sex, ladies. Some of you have got to learn that. And it's a low blow to ask a man a question like that when he's at his most vulnerable. 'Cause I know that's what some of yall do. LOL. That's just wrong.

"I love you." (3 men) See what happens when people get caught up in the moment? LOL. For some reason I knew this was gonna be on the list. I just knew it.

"Cum inside me." There was a little debate on this one. A couple guys said it was a major turnoff, but a couple said that makes them even more excited. One man's trash is another man's treasure, I guess...

"Put it in my butt." (3 men) Like I said yesterday, anal is one of those things that you can't spring on someone. You have to discuss that beforehand, especially with dudes because they have that whole "am-I-a-homo-if-I-do-anal?" dilemma going on.

"I'ma bronze your dick." Not sure what this means, and I guess the guy who heard it wasn't sure either because he laughed so hard and long that the mood was lost after that. Yeah, it's a good idea not to play alchemist when you're in bed.

"Spit in my mouth." Egads! The visuals alone is enough to make me nauseous. Said the dude who contributed this, "She was so good that I didn't know whether I should tell her to take a hike or honor the request." Needless to say, his body got the best of him. LOL. Ugh, I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.

"Right in the middle of it, she reached over and lit a cigarette. I rolled off her and went to take a shower, thinking that was her way of telling me to stop, but when I came back she asked me if I wasn't gonna finish what we started." Ladies, remember: the cigarettes are for afterwards.

"It's so good, you make me wanna shit myself." Unless the dude is one of those deviants (or pervs, whichever you prefer), the thought of you having a bowel movement is not, and will never, be sexy. Ladies, if I were you, I wouldn't even say "Oh shit, that feels good." It's too close to home.

Honorable Mentions:

"I racked my brain, but I honestly don't think there's anything a girl could say to me once I'm excited to turn me off. Nothing. Once I'm up, I'm up if you know what I mean...she could be dead and I probably wouldn't know until after I buss a nut. And I know plenty of dudes who'll say the same thing." This is disturbing on so many levels, but funny as hell. But I guarantee there are a few things that a chick could say to bring you down, like "I used to be a man." or "Your mother's in the room!" or "I slept with your brother." LOL. There's always something.

"Instead of a sensual moan/groan – pillow talk type situation, this chick used to moan, loudly, like a wounded moose. It was a deep, unattractive moan that wasn’t flattering. I didn’t lose my woody but I used to weigh the scale, mentally, if this was something that I could really take in the long run." Ladies, your homework assignment is to watch the Discovery Channel and hear what a wounded moose sounds like so you know what not to do. I was in tears when I heard this...and a little uncomfortable, too. What if I'm some dude's wounded moose, or excited rat, or half-dead bird, or some other animal? LOL. Oh dear, and good grief. Damn, I was good up until this one, y'know. I think from now on I'll just do what the dude in the first paragraph said and just move my hips to show that I'm alive. LOL.

Guys, what's the wackest thing a chick ever said to you in bed?

Email me your own dating/relationship question.