Things You Should Know Before You Ask Me On A Date

I hate lists...y'know the lists that people make about what their ideal mate should have (most times when they don't have the shit themselves) or their relationship likes and dislikes, etc. But even more than I hate lists, I hate wasting time. I could go outside and get hit by a bus right now, so why waste time on a date that won't lead anywhere. So I decided to create an informational piece (these are not rules, simply FYIs) on the things a dude should know before he asks me out.

Now don't get all bent out of shape; I'm simply trying to save a brother some time so he doesn't spend an evening wishing he'd have never asked me out.

I'm always hungry, and I have the appetite of a 300lb. NFL quarterback. I have since been told that there is no such thing as a 300lb. NFL quarterback, but I'm sure you get the point I was trying to make. Some dudes will ask out a chick and expect her to only eat a salad. I LOVE salads, but be forewarned, I can probably out-eat you.

I'll insist on paying, going half, or at least leaving the tip on the first date. Don't blame me, blame the man that raised me this way. Besides, I have some control issues. I'm aware of them, and I'm trying to work through them.

I only eat seafood & poultry. I only say this because I happen to have a really close relationship with seafood. We're like BFFs! In most restaurants it's usually higher priced than other entrees. Some chicks will go out and order the most expensive thing on the menu, just 'cause. I'm not one of those chicks, and I'd be offended if you thought I was. Besides, I'm letting you know how much money you should walk with, in case I don't win the paying debate.

I think a date to the movies is the most unimaginative date ever. Ok, if it's an indie or foreign flick, then that's ok. But a blockbuster movie on the first date...I could do that with anyone. As a matter of fact, I have done that with many anyones.

I will more than likely not be wearing a dress. Or heels. Or makeup. Yeah, it's part of that whole "real me" thing. I'm not gonna come out looking like a bum, and I'll certainly wear those things if the date calls for it, but if it's just a normal date where I can wear anything, chances are it won't be a dress, or heels, or makeup.

Answering your phone during our date isn't rude. Carrying on a 10-minute conversation is. 'Nuff said.

I always walk with vex money. So this one time, looong ago, I went out with this dude. We had a disagreement about something (yall know how opinionated I am) and dude caught the illest attitude. I asked if he was on his period. Needless to say I was left at some strange place in Queens (and unless you're FROM Queens, everywhere is strange). Thankfully I had my vex money. "Vex money" for those who don't know, is the same as "just-in-case-we-have-an-argument-or-I-simply-can't-deal-with-your-bullshit-until-the-night-ends" money. I'll pay for my half of the meal and my cab home and you can roll off a cliff.

You'll probably not get invited in on the first date. Y'all know how I feel about strange men up in my space...LOL. Yeah, that hasn't changed. Unless I knew you in some capacity before we started this dating thing, there'll be no nightcaps and no "coming up to use the bathroom" either. (Yeah, I know about that one...and if you're still using it, FYI, it's played out.)

If you were thinking of asking me out and have changed your mind now that you've read these tidbits of information, then aren't you glad I made this entry? I've saved us both an uncomfortable night! LOL. On the other hand, if u read this and you still wanna ask me out, holla atchya girl! Just don't be like that other dude. LOL.

C'mon, get it off your chest!

Or email me a dating/relationship question of your own