Gum's The Word

So last week while I was out with my friend Leigh, I started eating an apple. "Suppose," I said to him, "I took a bite of this apple and when you looked up my teeth were stuck in it. What would you do?"

He laughed. "First I'd be embarassed for you, then I'd wonder what happened, because I know when I first met you you had your own teeth."

"You think I had my own teeth!" I said, "you couldn't know for sure."

"You can tell stuff like that." Leigh said. "You just know."

Coincidentally, the next day the exact same conversation came up. I was chatting with a group of my girls. Girlfriend A had accidentally discovered that Girlfriend B's boyfriend was wearing a one-tooth denture.

Girlfriend B, who'd been dating dude for a while, had no clue that her boyfriend was wearing a fake tooth. So much for Leigh's theory. LOL.

Some people felt she should ask him about it, others felt like it would be an awkward thing. Then we got into whether he should've said something about his "defect" in the first place. But when is the appropriate time to tell someone you're wearing a fake tooth? Is it before the first kiss (which would probably ruin the moment)? Before yall have sex (which would probably ruin the moment)? After the first time you have sex (at which time it's already a moot point)? I dunno.

And does it even matter if someone has a fake tooth? Some people will say it doesn't matter, but I'm gonna be honest. For me, it depends on a few things:
1) The person. If I'm really attracted to dude, it'd probably not be an issue, as opposed to if I'm lukewarm about him, then I'd probably make it an issue.
2) Where the fake tooth is. A fake tooth in the front would probably be more of an issue than one in the back.
3) The removeability factor. If it's something he's just gonna pop out before we go to bed, that's not cool. It needs to be able to stay in his mouth at all times - even through the apple bite. I think one of my guy friends said it best: "I wouldn't be able to accept teeth out of her mouth, even for a gummy!"

It might sound a bit superficial (considering I have a missing back tooth myself...LOL), but hey, at least I'm honest.

But this is really not just about teeth; it's part of a larger issue: when's the appropriate time to reveal certain information about yourself? And are there certain things that are better left unsaid? Some things are easy (like you know you'll have to talk about STDs before you have sex), but others aren't so clear cut.

Like if you're dating a dude and you start having an impromptu makeout session. When do you tell him you're on your period? The minute he starts to kiss you? (Which is a bit presumptuous to assume that he wants to go all the way...LMAO..ok, that was funny.) Or when he makes a move to go down there?

Or if you have a prosthetic limb.

Or if you're a chick who's had a masectomy.

Or if you're a dude with only one ball.

Or if you've lasered off all your pubic hair.

Fact of the matter is that everyone is different. Some people wouldn't have a problem with any of the above, and for others those things could be a dealbreaker. How do you know when is too soon to say something about these things? Or if you should say something at all? If you say something at the beginning, will the other person think you're being presumptuous by assuming that it will get to physical intimacy? And if you don't say anything and it gets there, will they feel betrayed?

I dunno...

But I'd sure like to hear what yall think!

Drop me a line.