Clearing The Air: Once & For All

N.P., 21
New York, NY

I'm so embarassed to even be asking about this, but it's not something I feel comfortable talking about with my girls or anyone. A few weeks ago I had the most embarassing experience of my life. I finally had sex with this guy I'm going out with and while we were doing it, my vagina farted really loud. I don't know if he heard because he didn't stop, but all through the sex it was on my mind. When we were done and he pulled out, it happened again!

This is embarassing and it almost makes me want not want to have sex with him again. I don't know if this is normal, since this is only the third man I've had sex with, and I don't remember this happening with the other two. Is this something I should talk about with him? I hope you say no because I don't know if I could stand the embarassment.


Relax. Take a deep breath and let it out...through your mouth, that is (sorry, I couldn't resist at least one joke)! What you've experienced is onomatopoeia, more commonly known as vaginal flatulence or queefing. (There are other raunchier slang names such as vart, p*ssy fart, c*nt trumpet, fanny farts, muff music and beaver burps, but we won't use any of those in our discussion, as the topic is already sensitive enough.)

Both male and female genitalia have the capacity to affect most of our senses: we can smell them, we can taste them, we can touch them and we can see them. Unfortunately, women's genitalia also possess the capacity of sound (as if spending a few days a month bloated and bleeding wasn't enough).

I assume your partner didn't say anything because he's a mature dude who understands that it's just a natural occurrence. Most men will be understanding and won't try to call you out and embarrass you. However, there's always that one dude who'll find it disgusting and will voice his opinion as such. I say fuck him (figuratively speaking, of course)...if that's something that turns him off, then you don't want to be bothered with him anyway.

So What Causes Queefing?

Queefing happens when air is expelled from the vagina. Most people associate it with gas, but aside from the air being expelled, the two have nothing in common. Gas expels waste and usually has an odor whereas queefing does not (if there's an odor, it could be a more serious condition such as fistula or female genital prolapse but I think you'd know immediately if it was that serious).

If you talk to a dude, he'll probably say that queefing is a result of a woman having a very large vagina. If you talk to a chick, she'll probably say that queefing is a result of a dude having a small penis. Either way, air is being allowed into the vagina, because the vaginal walls do not have enough suction around the penis.

Body positions are also another cause of queefing. Sexual positions where the woman's hips and thighs are raised (such as doggie style) are more likely to produce queefing. Yoga and other similar exercises can have the same result.

How Do I Make It Go Away?

Some women use kegel exercises to strengthen the vaginal "suction" muscles and reduce queefing.

You can also avoid sexual positions that make queefing more probable.

Or you can use lubrication (such as KY).

How Do I Deal With The Embarassment?

Way I see it, you have nothing to be embarrassed about. I've learned that a lot of women harbor insecurities about the look, feel, taste, smell (although Kentroy might disagree...LOL) of their bodies that are completely unfounded and that most dudes don't even SEE, let alone care about.

The way you deal with it could potentially determine how he responds. If you make it a big deal and focus on it, then chances are he will too...

Tell me what you think!

Or drop me a line on the email.