Shhh...Don't Say Nuthin'! (Pt. 1)

So I was at a party a few weeks ago, and I was talking to a woman about my blog. She told me a story about being in bed with a dude and he said something so wack to her that she was completely turned off, and had to tell him to stop. She wanted me to write a blog entry about the topic and I agreed. I did a little asking around and got so many responses from both sexes, that I thought it'd be easier to separate it into male and female responses. Today I'm telling you what the chicks said, so guys, pay attention! LOL.

My Story: Years ago when I'd first moved into my own place, I was dating this guy. I invited him over, we ate dinner then curled up on the couch to watch a movie. We started smooching. Things started getting hot and heavy. I suggested we take it to my bedroom. While I was leading him back to my bedroom, he said, "Are your sheets clean?" I cooled down very quickly, and bade him a good night.

The Question: What is the wackest thing a guy ever said to you during sex or in foreplay? So wack that it turned you off, or [almost] made you wanna leave?

The Answers:

"Whose is it?" Nineteen women said this was the wackest thing they'd ever heard in bed. When you have 19 chicks saying the same thing, it must be pretty bad. Guys, just don't say it...despite the fact that you're the one in bed with her, the owner hasn't changed - "it" is still hers. Also avoid "It's mine" or any other phrase that indicates ownership.

"Let me put it in your butt." (7 women). Believe me, anal is not something that a woman will agree to merely because you suggest it. If it's something she's into, I'm 100% sure you'll know - you won't have to ask or suggest it, or any variation of it. And by the way, "accidentally" attempting said action is also a major turnoff.

"What's my name?" (11 women). I don't even think this needs an explanation.

"Who's your daddy?" (4 women). As a Daddy's Little Girl and someone who doesn't do so well with kids, I think I speak for most women when I say the last thing we want to think about in bed with a dude is paternity - in any shape or form.

"Tell me you love me." The woman who contributed this wack line said it best: "If you have to tell me to tell you, then its stupid. Plain and simple."

"Would you like to play with yourself?" That is just so unbelievably wack that I cannot even come up with a witty comment to explain it. I've heard of being polite, but this is ridiculous.

"Take me to your leader." I cannot believe that a dude would have the stones to say that during sex. I just can't believe it. I think this deserves self-castration because someone who has such a wack line in their vocabulary should not be allowed to participate in sex.

"I've been with a lot of women, but you're the best!" (6 women). Gee, thanks! Yeah, it's a compliment, but it's one of those compliments that really isn't a compliment like, "Oh, those shoes make your legs look long and lean"...So what? My legs look short and stubby without the shoes? Just say, "You're the best!"...we don't need any additional information.

"Suck my titties!" In the words of the contributor, "Men do not have titties!"...I beg to differ though...there's a few men with manboobs roaming the streets.

"Play with my prostate." Hmm, I didn't do too well in biology, but I believe that has something to do with a dude's butt and a chick's appendages. I don't even like to play with my own butt, let alone someone else's...That's a negative. There will be no prostate playing on my watch.

"I want you to have my baby." (3 women) Like the whole "Who's your daddy?" thing, we don't want to be thinking about conception, babies and the like. I know it's a hard concept to grasp, but not every woman relishes the idea of bearing your seed.

Honorable mention (courtesy of the woman at the party): "I was getting my swerve on with this guy and during our session, he started talking like Elmer Fudd, telling me to stroke myself and asking me if I liked it. It creeped me out, I had to ask him to stop. I couldn't even explain what he had done that was so wrong. I just put on my clothes and left." Egads! Elmer Fudd. Dudes, take note...voices are usually not cool. Sometimes we don't even want to hear your voice, let alone the voice of a lisping, stuttering cartoon character. This gooes for accents as well...if you don't speak French, talking in English with a fake French accent is wack. I would love to meet the dude who said this. I wanna ask him - face to face - how he selected Elmer Fudd as his love voice. Good grief!

Look out for Pt. 2, when the dudes share their wack stories...some of them are hilarious!

Ladies, what was the wackest thing a guy ever said to you in bed?

Guys, it's not too late to email me your wack experience for Pt. 2!