Help Wanted?
I'm way too helpful and supportive.
Maybe it was because my first dream was to be a psychologist - that was until my mother, in a rare burst of wit, asked me if I planned to work in a pyschology company when I graduated, since that was the only way she was going to pay for me to go to school for theoretical major like psychology. Or maybe it was growing up hearing my dad complain that none of the women in his life had ever been very supportive of his dreams, and deciding way back then that I didn't want to be one of those unsupportive women. Whatever the reason, I seem to be quite adept at self-sabotage.
I don't know what it is, but each time a dude starts commiserating about the ex, I feel I should listen. When a dude I'm dating starts talking about his dreams and what he wants to accomplish in life, I feel like if I can help why shouldn't I? Ex-girlfriends everywhere must love me, because I have the uncanny ability to see their side of the story quite well and I've been even known to justify a reconciliation a time or two. So all this time I really haven't been abstinent; I've apparently been royally screwing myself. LOL.
Knowing is half the battle. Now I just need a strategy on how I can avoid being so helpful and supportive. Suggestions are welcome.
Help me evade The Friend Zone...
Edit: Oh, yeah. Happy 1 Year Anniversary to me babayyyyy!!!
Labels: Must Reads
posted by SimplEnigma @ 10:51 PM
9 comments
9 Comments:
I am kind of like that as well. I have been teaching myself to be more and more selfish over the last two years. Its kind of working for me... but it still bothers me that it sometimes pisses off others. But hey... yuh cyah please everybody so concentrate on pleasing numero uno.
Next time they start to commiserate (sp?), just say "You know, I could help you to forget all about her, but you're talking way too much, honey.". Make your desires known.
I wonder if there are women out there that I'm doing this to. but I'm not one of those guys that has many female friends. chances are are you are looking one of those guys who have pussy galure and can afford the luxury of making some of them "just friends"
Ahh, Owen...you have such a way with words. Makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside...You must make women's legs turn to jello every time you speak. LMAO.
I have tons of male friends (none of whom were relegated to that status because of being "extras", I might add) so I guess I am what I attract. Or maybe it has something to do with being raised in a male household without a female to balance it out...
@Fiyah: I'm all for the selfishness...I don't think I'll feel bad about being that way though. After all, I may not be an only child, but I certainly grew up like one. Maybe it's time to channel my inner only child.
LOL @ Mad Bull: Ahh, if only I could be that forward. Y'all don't seem to believe that I'm really an introvert. *sigh*
For some reason I never have that particular problem. I mean people do relate their problems, and stories about exes but I usually nip in the bud early by saying things like 'Um, you realise that its weird for me to hear you go on about some other woman right?'
Then again Fathead pointed out that I was on his most jealous women list. But that's just another blog.
No matter what I write in my blog, I'm such a softy. I listen to women's problems and then I begin to hear that little music.
"You'd make such a good friend."
"I love just talking to you."
"You give such good advice. I think I'm going to get back with my ex."
Holla
I try but I seem to always end up with the crazy ones :(
chile please. you are doing yourself a favor. why would you want to be with a man (in any form) who is not over his ex? NO THANKS! if she was that great, he really should be with her. do you really want him with you but thinking about her?? absolutely not.
i've always had male friends, too. the ones who weren't over their girls or themselves? not for me. that's why we're friends.
Happy Anniversary Deb!
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