I Got Issues...
"There's nothing more attractive to the opposite sex than someone who is unavailable or uninterested." I think Kimba said something similar once...now that I think of it, I've quoted it on here before. Ah well, we can all use a bit of deja vu every now and then.
So two of my dearest friends whose opinions I value greatly have told me (at different times) that I'm attracted to unavailable men. Not unavailable in the sense that he's married, but unavailable in the sense that he and I can never be. Deep, huh? So I did some introspection:
First Love who lived a million states away and always had a reason why we couldn't be together? Hot
Mr. Perfect who lives one borough away and has all the qualities I'd look for in a guy? Hot...for one of my friends, not so hot for me.
The Japanese who was here for 3 months and barely spoke any English? Hot
Mr. ETF who had all those qualities I loved and lived 15 minutes away from me? I guess if I'm panicking when he's about to kiss me it means he's not so hot.
Mr. Index Fund who's not over his girlfriend? Hot
Hmm, and here I was thinking that it's only women with low self-esteem and absent fathers who are attracted to men that aren't ideal for them...LOL. But seriously, why are people like that?
A friend of mine was telling me a story about a dude who got back with a girl (and eventually married her) who had cheated on him and publicly humiliated him by bragging about it.
And then there's the attorney: successful black woman, first one in her family to go to college, worked 3 jobs to put herself through law school...and who does she marry? A convicted felon.
So why do I vacillate toward men that are "unavailable"? Because I'm attracted to free spirits; people who can keep me stimulated, who're always doing new things, and who I can constantly learn from. A worldly, artsy guy who has many talents and hobbies, is very involved many (grassroots and philanthropic) activities and organizations and loves to travel. Unfortunately those people are usually nomads who're always on the move, and who very rarely want to be hampered by conventional things like relationships. Didn't I tell you I was adept at self-sabotage? LOL.
Well, knowing is half the battle, ennit?
Hmm, why can't people wear a sign that tells their availability?
Labels: Predicaments, Simply SE
posted by SimplEnigma @ 10:44 AM
5 comments
5 Comments:
I love this, I can so relate :) "hampered by conventional things like relationships". I wrote this post called "something" which is sorta like a visa versa kinda thing where my "life is for rent" cause I never learn/try to buy.
I don't know if knowing is half the battle, because on some level we all know. We all know who is no good for us, and we still dabble.
It's like that song "How come everything that feels so good, makes me feel so bad?"
LOL @ Owen...I love the way you think, y'know. Which probably means you're unavailable. LMAO.
@CP, are you sure there's a song like that or did you just make it up? Sounds made up to me...LOL. You're right, we do know. Just like we know about smoking, too much alcohol, eating bad foods...
I dunno, maybe I'm hoping I'll seem smarter if I attach a useless addendum like "knowing is half the battle" to the end of it.
plus you being 250 really isn't going to work either.
and I have other thing where I keep ending up with unavailable women. It like there are no single women in my area or they are keeping it a secret from me :(. Either way the attached ones are drawn to me like fish to bate. Its the curse that I'm blessed with.
Unfortunately, becoming unavailable doesn't suddenly make the object of your affection come knocking. If he's not interested, he's not interested. The benefit is yours if you are meeting other people in the process.
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