Ignorance Is Bliss?
Consider this scenario, then tell me what you think:
A couple has been together for many years (over 10). During the first 2 years of the relationship (when they were already an established couple - not still dating), one of them has an affair. The other doesn't know about the affair, and also doesn't know the person with whom the affair was had. There is NO chance of the oblivious partner EVER finding out about the affair. (Assume the person with whom the affair was had is dead or someother absolute scenario.) The cheating partner has never been unfaithful since then, and has had no desire to be unfaithful now.
One day, out of the blue, the cheating partner has the urge to confess their infidelity. Considering that it is (at least) 8 years later, the affair wasn't with someone the partner knew, and the partner would never find out, should s/he confess?
If you were the partner that was cheated on, would you want to know?
posted by SimplEnigma @ 5:34 PM
11 comments
11 Comments:
Two answers to this. There's no point at all in confessing now. All that's going to happen is this:
1)Upset the oblivious partner
2)Create trust issues in the relationship.
Plus the cheating partner is just relieving his/her own guilt-doing it to make him/her feel better, not to help oblivious partner because if there's no way in God's earth she/he was going to find out, she wasn't going to be hurt by what he/she doesn't know.
Second answer:
If I'm the oblivious partner, um, well, I'd probably want to know even though I really shouldn't. I'd hope my partner has the good sense to not tell me though.
I would want to know, I'd probably forgive her cause she came clean.
Now if the tables were turned I don't think I would be able to keep the secret that long and all the deception would just be eating away at me.
SOmetimes in life, it's best to keep things to yourself. IF they never had one again, it's probably because that need was gone or they felt very guilty.
Who REALLY wants to know about that 8 years later?
Rahtid, if I had an affair last week, me naw talk, much less after 8 years! Even if she find out, I just gwaan like Shaggy and Rik Rok! "It wasn't me!".
Am still laughing at MB's comment.
Nope, unless its a need to know item, it doesn't need to be told.
As a person yes I would in theory want to know. But I think people confessing indiscretions especially many years after the fact do it for themselves and not for the other party. If you really wanted to clear the air, you would tell all at the beginning.
http://nopsychologicalromance.blogspot.com/
2006/02/better-left-unsaid.html
Mad Bull just cracked me up TOTALLY!! LOL
But to ansa di ?: HELL NOOOOOOO!! LOL
Tell s/he to go pray. God knows the heart. LOL
That madbull! Jeez. hehe.
If the (mis)deed is resting so heavily on his heart, should go to a confessional and leave it alone after that.
MB, you're crazy...I'm dying over here...'bout last week.
Gela, you are hilarious. I see you tried to stay gender neutral in your first response, but by your last response, you just said "F**k it, the cheater mus be a dude." LOL.
Adrian, I'm actually surprised by your response (re: the forgiveness). I thought a dude would have a harder time forgiving a cheating woman than the other way around. At least I'm not stereotyping. LOL.
Dutchpot, I'm assuming the "Hell No" applies to both questions? The cheater shouldn't tell and you wouldn't want to know. LOL.
Mista A: 8 years is a long time to wait to tell someone about infidelity. I think if someone told me that 8 years later, I'd be madder that he chose to tell me at all, rather than at the fact that he cheated.
Say Yeah: LOL. Tell us how ya really feel.
you noticed eh. lol.
No. Don't tell me, unless you've caught an STD you can't get rid of like HIV.
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